Nothing like a new baby to shake life up; consider mine shaken. Baby Do came home with us a little more than three weeks ago and it feels like a lifetime already. A lifetime of diapers, lifetime of breast milk, lifetime of sleepless nights and groggy days. There is also love and a cuteness inconceivable before having her, but oh how they were blurred by my tears. The one sentence I say over and over, and will probably think for years to come, is no one told me how hard this is.
That isn't true, of course. People have told me how hard this is. Just like most experiences in life, words cannot quite capture. Being a new parent, for me, has been quite a transition. I'm slowly letting go of the deep sadness knowing that my old life is gone forever. I miss my husband all to myself, miss my quiet time, miss sleep (oh how I miss sleep).
In return, I have the perfect baby. She has little moon shaped eyes that curve downward when she makes faces (most of which I'm still deciphering). She has full bottom lips and sweet demure upper lip, with the cutest pink tongue which she likes to stick out at us. She is a lady and looks great in hats. She isn't a lady when it comes to eating or pooping. We stare at her endlessly when she is sleeping, for truly, nothing is sweeter than a sleeping baby. She never turns down a paci, and is forever staring at the blank ceilings around here like it's the Sistine Chapel. She is dealing with her infant acne with uncomplaining patience, she also has moments of unparalleled fussiness. Despite all the overwhelming changes and newness of everyday, it doesn't escape me the bittersweet fact, she will only be this small once...
Saturday, March 07, 2015
Thursday, February 05, 2015
Decision Decisions...
At 38.5 wks, I have mood swings. Uncertainties. I'm afraid, terrified, scared. I'm also excited, of course, but TERRIFIED!!
At my OB appt today, she delightfully told me we can schedule induction for next Wednesday! I was overcome with a sense of relief! Maybe taking one unknown out of ALL the unknowns is comforting to me. However when I shared this with my husband, he is more hesitant, more cautious (which is the nature of our relationship). What exactly IS the medical reason for induction? To be honest, I'm not sure. I didn't ask. I know the baby is squished in my belly, I am consistently measuring small, and today her abdomen circumference is only at ~35 weeks. Squished or loosing weight?? That, as far as I can tell, is the only indication for scheduling this induction. I trust my OB 100%. My gut feeling is there should be no complications. After all, inductions are done SO frequently now, for convenience as well as medical reasons. BUT... I'm hoping for baby O to begin her own entry into the world before next Wednesday.
I'm hoping that she takes this decision out of my hand.
At my OB appt today, she delightfully told me we can schedule induction for next Wednesday! I was overcome with a sense of relief! Maybe taking one unknown out of ALL the unknowns is comforting to me. However when I shared this with my husband, he is more hesitant, more cautious (which is the nature of our relationship). What exactly IS the medical reason for induction? To be honest, I'm not sure. I didn't ask. I know the baby is squished in my belly, I am consistently measuring small, and today her abdomen circumference is only at ~35 weeks. Squished or loosing weight?? That, as far as I can tell, is the only indication for scheduling this induction. I trust my OB 100%. My gut feeling is there should be no complications. After all, inductions are done SO frequently now, for convenience as well as medical reasons. BUT... I'm hoping for baby O to begin her own entry into the world before next Wednesday.
I'm hoping that she takes this decision out of my hand.
Monday, February 02, 2015
Recipe - Sticky Barbecue Ribs - Superbowl 2015
When you walk into Costco and walk out with 10 lb of pork ribs (for two), a certain level of expectation follows. Here it is, 5lb of meat, slowly cooked in the oven for 2.5 hours, meticulously turned every 20 min for the last hour (I set a timer). It BETTER be good!
And it was! The meat melts off the bone in that gratifying manner, you wish it could go straight into your mouth. The thick sweet sticky sauce coats the meat and your fingers. I can't wait to reheat the leftovers tonight and see if it's as good as I remembered!
Sticky
Barbecue Ribs
What to Cook and How to Cook It - Jane Hornby
Preparation
time: 10 min
Cooking
time: 2.5 hours
Serving: 6
1 clove
garlic
3 tbsp
tomato puree (I used tomato paste)
6 tbsp soy
sauce
3 tbsp honey
2 tbsp red
wine vinegar
2 tbsp dark
brown sugar
1/2 tsp
kosher salt
1/2 tsp
pepper
1/2 tsp
paprika
1/2 tsp
tabsco sauce
2 tbsp
worcestershire sauce
18 meaty
pork spare ribs, about 4.5 lbs
1. Crush
garlic, put in large bowl. Add all of the other ingredients except the
ribs. Stir together and add ribs. Toss well in the marinade and let
stand for at least 1 hour at room temperature, or up to 24 hours in the
fridge.
2. Preheat
oven to 350F. transfer ribs and all of their marinade into a large roasting
pan, spreading out evenly. COVER the pan tightly with foil, then bake the
ribs for 1.5 hours. Remove the foil, return ribs to oven for 1 hour more,
turning them in the sauce every 20 min or so.
3. When
cooked, the ribs will be meltingly tender and coated with dark sticky sauce.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Twinkles
He has twinkly eyes. I thought that was just a figure of speech, a figment of imagination, wishful thinking. But my husband really has twinkly eyes. They don't twinkle all the time. Only when he laughs at something really funny (as opposed to his more shallow, polite, fake laugh); when he smiles at me across the table (most of the time it's for no particular reason at all, maybe just a tender thought); and when he has had a good night sleep and wakes up much later than usual (maybe the morning sun has something to do with it). He glances over at me and if I happen to be awake too... magical twinkles.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Our House...
We have been living here in this space for approximately one year and five months. We have done a lot, but there is so much more to do. I have to remind myself that decorating is a process, and we need to take our time. Another part of me simply want to go online, click a few buttons, set my credit card on fire, and be done with it already.
2014 is the year we decorated a nursery. I forget that sometimes. In the beginning of the year (Presidents Day, Feb 17th to be exact) we purchased our bedroom set and decided to halt furniture spending for awhile... And we did, until May when we realized Baby Do is on the way. Then began the all tormenting question of - changing table or no changing table?? To Ikea or Not to Ikea? Yes, hours and days and weeks of our free time has been spent debating the pros and cons of changing table versus dresser with changing top. In the end (too close to the end!), we decided on a dresser and till this day (37 weeks and counting), still awaiting on its arrival! Any day now!
Things this house screams out at me -
1. Finish the basement. This is number one because I love my husband and I know he dreams about finishing the basement. I still feel bad delaying this project into 2015 but new construction with new baby makes me nervous. So spring, when the weather gets warmer and Baby Do is safely tucked away at day care, we will finish this basement.
2. Change the light fixtures. This is number 1 on my list. To say I can't stand the light fixtures that came with this house is an understatement. I dream about the beautiful/modern statement pieces I would put in their places. Even now... staring at my dining room... I'm thinking about the cast iron rectangular chandelier with iridescent lights...
3. Rugs. This is easy and not so easy. Rugs for my study and for master bathroom.
4. sitting pieces for my study. This is tricky... Too big and it will look crowded/out of places. Too small and it will look lonely.
5. Bigger desk for my study.
6. Window treatments. This would probably be lower on my list.
That's all for now. 2015, no pressure.
2014 is the year we decorated a nursery. I forget that sometimes. In the beginning of the year (Presidents Day, Feb 17th to be exact) we purchased our bedroom set and decided to halt furniture spending for awhile... And we did, until May when we realized Baby Do is on the way. Then began the all tormenting question of - changing table or no changing table?? To Ikea or Not to Ikea? Yes, hours and days and weeks of our free time has been spent debating the pros and cons of changing table versus dresser with changing top. In the end (too close to the end!), we decided on a dresser and till this day (37 weeks and counting), still awaiting on its arrival! Any day now!
Things this house screams out at me -
1. Finish the basement. This is number one because I love my husband and I know he dreams about finishing the basement. I still feel bad delaying this project into 2015 but new construction with new baby makes me nervous. So spring, when the weather gets warmer and Baby Do is safely tucked away at day care, we will finish this basement.
2. Change the light fixtures. This is number 1 on my list. To say I can't stand the light fixtures that came with this house is an understatement. I dream about the beautiful/modern statement pieces I would put in their places. Even now... staring at my dining room... I'm thinking about the cast iron rectangular chandelier with iridescent lights...
3. Rugs. This is easy and not so easy. Rugs for my study and for master bathroom.
4. sitting pieces for my study. This is tricky... Too big and it will look crowded/out of places. Too small and it will look lonely.
5. Bigger desk for my study.
6. Window treatments. This would probably be lower on my list.
That's all for now. 2015, no pressure.
Monday, January 26, 2015
37 weeks
37 weeks today. Baby is getting big and her movements feel like shifting landscapes inside my belly. I can feel (what I imagine to be) an elbow here, some toes there. It's all very cute and intense and surreal and at times even painful. My favorite is when S puts his hands on my belly and feels her movements too. He is so awed by even the slightest kick.
It's not all fun and cuteness of course. I read somewhere that pregnancy is both so beautiful and so ugly. That has been so true in my case.
It's not all fun and cuteness of course. I read somewhere that pregnancy is both so beautiful and so ugly. That has been so true in my case.
11/13/2014 - 26 weeks
1/9/2015 - 34 weeks
A new birthday, A new haircut, and soon a brand new baby! This BR dress has always been loose on me. Now so snug I can no longer wear it after the birthday dinner.
These days I'm worried about:
1. When is she coming??
2. How she will change S and I, our slightly boring but completely peaceful and mostly harmonious world.
3. Away from work and all that implies.
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
Not a mommy yet...
This article resonates with me, and I have a feeling, a lot of my friends. The problem with being mid thirties and becoming a mommy for the first time is there is so much of me that I don't want to give up, or even change. My GNO with the girls, my small purses that holds only the wallet and the car key, my alone time with hubby where we do nothing but stare at each other and giggle, just to name a few... Whenever someone says "your life will never be the same again", 99% of me believe them and prepare for the worst, but there is a small but ever so present 1% that thinks "we will just wait and see".
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/11/09/opinion/sunday/our-mommy-problem.html?referrer&_r=1
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/11/09/opinion/sunday/our-mommy-problem.html?referrer&_r=1
2014 Black Friday (and Monday and the week after)
This Thanksgiving I worked very odd hours - noon to 8pm - five days straight. That put a damper on all the eating and shopping. Somehow I still managed to do plenty of both, mostly on my own.
I took it easy on Net-A Porter this year, mostly because their black friday sale didn't start until Cyber Monday! I only order a couple of items and only keeping this one (so far). Softest and highly functional cashmere gloves by FINDS at 40% off. I'm waiting patiently for this aberrant 70 degree weather in Atlanta to blow through so I can wear them already!!
This one is an impulse buy... Gucci boots! They didn't even have it in my size! But the beauty of Net-a-porter is free returns... and they are too beautiful (and too on sale) not to give it a chance.
Anthropologie... I have been waiting on this one. 25% off and free shipping, I think that's as good as it gets on that website. Today, for example, is 30% off but no free shipping. By principal I'm against paying for shipping (and returns)... but I have a weak spot for them.
I have been waiting on these pillow cases to go on sale! 25% isn't much but it's better than regular priced... and since I have the quilt, I need the set. I will never spend this much on pillow cases again... I will never spend this much on pillow cases again...
These socks I saw in the store, are so cute and soft I had a hard time putting them down.
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/33806811.jsp#/
What can I say, this pillow makes me smile... every time.
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/33377425.jsp#/
Thanks to Cup of Jo, I discovered Terrain and made my purchases 15% off with free shipping.
Aren't these so sweet?
http://www.shopterrain.com/holiday%2Dhome%2Dcandles/pure%2Dbeeswax%2Dtapers%2Dnatural/searchString/candle
http://www.shopterrain.com/sale%2Dhome/old%2Dworld%2Dtaper%2Dholder/searchString/candle
Pottery Barn picture frames along with the candle holders above are all for our new shelf project. Stay tuned...
Thursday, November 06, 2014
Things I covet... Birthday/Xmas edition
It's no coincidence this time of the year is the most expensive for my credit card. Minutes after complaining to S about our spending this month on our way home from lunch (out), I order these online. One for me and one for S! It's not my fault his birthday is coming up in 5 days!!
As with everything I buy for S, there is a 50% return potential. But who doesn't love cashmere, and this is such a classic cut.
As with everything I buy for S, there is a 50% return potential. But who doesn't love cashmere, and this is such a classic cut.
In my pregnant state, cardigans are my friends. There is the purple one I wore everywhere until the Chicago trip put it in the dry cleaners. Maybe this can be another staple? We shall see.
I have been searching for booties for quite sometime. Are these the one?? They are reasonably priced for sure. I should just order them. Is there a limit to how many times I can use my cc in one day???
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/tyler-florence-thanksgiving-dinner/?pkey=cthanksgiving-food&cm_src=thanksgiving-food||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-
For $400, you can have Thanksgiving dinner for 12 delivered to your door! Plus extra 15.99 for shipping. I recently cooked a brisket for 5 where the dinner costed me about $200. I did have to buy a roasting pan for the 6 lb brisket! My point is, $400 for a peace of mind may be well worth it!
More attainable... just the festive can makes me happy.
See those small yet not-so-small starburst earrings by David Yurman? Well... those have been on my mind for the past 360 days. I have seen them twice in person, tried them on once, thought about them every time S mentions buying me something. The thing is, I have always been proud of the fact that I'm not a jewelry person, thus feel (slightly) better about spending more liberally on purses and shoes. But really, who doesn't love these. So small, stunning, understated but wow. Maybe if I'm good for the rest of the year...
Wednesday, November 05, 2014
2014 where did you go?
This year started rather tumultuously, I thought. Year of the horse seems so auspicious, but kicked me in the butt quite a few times. It's not over yet, arguably the most important part is yet to come... Fingers crossed.
We moved into our new house! Actually this happened in August 2013, closed on the 29th. But it didn't really feel like home until this year, when what seemed a vast amount of empty space began to fill in with clutters of daily life. I find myself scrambling for storage space in this 4000 sq ft house for two.
I turned 32! S and I celebrated at The Optimist, one of my favorite restaurants in Atlanta. I told S I didn't want anything for my birthday, but on the day of we went to the mall and walked away with the most lovely Burberry toggle coat with fur trimmed hat. I felt very very spoiled. And very very lucky.
San Francisco Reunion!! Where I was introduced to Japanese Ramen, how fast babies grow, and still dreaming of the insanely yummy shaved ice (which is really not ice at all but some sweet creamy light fluffy cream).
S and I bought not one but two cars within a span of 3 months. Will never forget how happy (and proud?) my dad was when I returned his camry. There was the first toyota camry, then the green Mitsubishi sport, then black Avalon, finally this camry is the only one I was responsible enough to return (even fixed the scratch). I think it means I can take care of myself now, or something like that.
My sweet mom turned 60. Yet she is not one day over 40, or 35, to me... Still not a single strand of grey hair. Still takes care of me when I am sick. Still the person I want to talk to the most when sad/happy/sleepy. Love my mommy.
Weekend trip to Vegas, Steve's favorite place in the world. Ok maybe not... but pretty close.
NOLA/Biloxi trip in May, right before our lives changed forever. S asked me on the trip - "you're eating a lot. are you pregnant?" Me - "No!"
There it is, the elusive two lines. The funny thing is, once it's positive, there is no doubt in the world it's positive (although I have heard of tests where the second line is only slightly dark). I think at one point I had about five of them all lined up. S wanted to be sure. It's the most thrilling/magical moment of our married life. S: "what do we do now?" Me: "I don't know. I think it just grows." :)
20 weeks and growing. Still the most thrilling/magical, but also the most scary/nerve-wrecking/out-of-my-control experience.
Baby Do and I getting inspired by Oprah.
October in Chicago
October in Chicago is breathtakingly beautiful. When the weather isn't cold enough to take your breath away, the beautiful waterfront will.
Our trip to Chicago trip is splendid. Despite sprained ankles and sciatic leg, we hobbled our way from one restaurant to the next. Not pictured is the Chicago pizza, legendarily good; the smell of caramel and cheddar cheese popcorn; and S trying to find me water along the Chicago River bank despite his swollen ankle. Yep, still my favorite travel partner.
Happy Halloween. My favorite holiday came and went, along with my favorite month. S and I have been married for two years on 10.29.2014, and we celebrated with a steak at Ruth Chris. No special gifts, we're old married couples now.
I will be working this Thanksgiving, but still, the spirit of the holidays is not wasted on me. I love any holiday that involves cooking and eating.
Looking forward to our little Christmas tree, filling it with gifts, and for once spending Xmas day with family and seeing these gifts being opened. Looking forward to baby Do growing bigger and bigger, and me heavier and heavier. I'm getting fat and there is nothing I can or want to do about it. Sometimes in life, all is well and I am thankful.
We moved into our new house! Actually this happened in August 2013, closed on the 29th. But it didn't really feel like home until this year, when what seemed a vast amount of empty space began to fill in with clutters of daily life. I find myself scrambling for storage space in this 4000 sq ft house for two.
I turned 32! S and I celebrated at The Optimist, one of my favorite restaurants in Atlanta. I told S I didn't want anything for my birthday, but on the day of we went to the mall and walked away with the most lovely Burberry toggle coat with fur trimmed hat. I felt very very spoiled. And very very lucky.
 |
| Snow day 2014. A different fur collar with a different coat. |
 |
| Backyard view of my neighbor's house. Doesn't it look so idyllic in the snow? |
Snow Apocalypse in Atlanta! (Almost) trapped at work. After a three hour car ride home, only to be picked up by monster truck to return to work the next day. Staying at Econolodge and Hampton Inn with Hadrami. Oh winter, please be more kind this year.
S and I bought not one but two cars within a span of 3 months. Will never forget how happy (and proud?) my dad was when I returned his camry. There was the first toyota camry, then the green Mitsubishi sport, then black Avalon, finally this camry is the only one I was responsible enough to return (even fixed the scratch). I think it means I can take care of myself now, or something like that.
My sweet mom turned 60. Yet she is not one day over 40, or 35, to me... Still not a single strand of grey hair. Still takes care of me when I am sick. Still the person I want to talk to the most when sad/happy/sleepy. Love my mommy.
 |
| Cutie |
 |
| L'Atalier de Joel Robuchon |
 |
| View from Cosmopolitan |
NOLA/Biloxi trip in May, right before our lives changed forever. S asked me on the trip - "you're eating a lot. are you pregnant?" Me - "No!"
There it is, the elusive two lines. The funny thing is, once it's positive, there is no doubt in the world it's positive (although I have heard of tests where the second line is only slightly dark). I think at one point I had about five of them all lined up. S wanted to be sure. It's the most thrilling/magical moment of our married life. S: "what do we do now?" Me: "I don't know. I think it just grows." :)
Baby Do and I getting inspired by Oprah.
 |
| "the Wild Bean" |
 |
| Brothers! |
 |
| The best turkey sandwich at The Publican Chicago. I have been ordering sandwiches everywhere in Atlanta since I got back, but they all fall short. It's in the bread (fried I think), the melted fontina, and whatever else (I think an onion vinegar of some sort) is happening. And the kale salad with bits of feta cheese, very envious of that salad. |
October in Chicago is breathtakingly beautiful. When the weather isn't cold enough to take your breath away, the beautiful waterfront will.
 |
| Two hour wait to get into Wasabi for the famous torched pork belly Ramen Noodle. Amazing. |
 |
| Margie's Ice Cream. I wasn't sure what the big deal was, whether it was worth the waiting and the line and putting up with the chaos that is this (well-known) establishment. I mean, ice cream is ice cream right? This is a banana split with chocolate, coconut, and mint chocolate ice cream with hot fudge sundae in its own boat. I have been craving it since. Go figure. |
Our trip to Chicago trip is splendid. Despite sprained ankles and sciatic leg, we hobbled our way from one restaurant to the next. Not pictured is the Chicago pizza, legendarily good; the smell of caramel and cheddar cheese popcorn; and S trying to find me water along the Chicago River bank despite his swollen ankle. Yep, still my favorite travel partner.
Happy Halloween. My favorite holiday came and went, along with my favorite month. S and I have been married for two years on 10.29.2014, and we celebrated with a steak at Ruth Chris. No special gifts, we're old married couples now.
I will be working this Thanksgiving, but still, the spirit of the holidays is not wasted on me. I love any holiday that involves cooking and eating.
Looking forward to our little Christmas tree, filling it with gifts, and for once spending Xmas day with family and seeing these gifts being opened. Looking forward to baby Do growing bigger and bigger, and me heavier and heavier. I'm getting fat and there is nothing I can or want to do about it. Sometimes in life, all is well and I am thankful.
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