When other people are busy looking for someone trustworthy and dependable, I wasted all my time searching for the feeling, the spark... and what have I ended up with? A few transient moments of breathlessness for an infinity of anguish and pain. While life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, is it not better to trot more leveled ground... especially as we get older, and our hearts get weaker.
It is only the third week of school, and already I feel battled and worn. I suppose if it must go down some time, it is better to put up that white flag in the beginning, where there is still time to recover, re-group, and find a brave face. This too shall pass, right???
It is not a tragedy yet, for thankgoodness, I'm still young. There is no need to right past wrongs, but time enough to learn from my mistakes.
1 comment:
While it is true that as we get older and our hearts do get weaker - it is only physical. Mentally, our hearts become stronger as we become more experienced with the heartaches of life - disappointment, frustration, dissatisfaction, etc. As we become faced with those harsh realities more and more each day, we become better at dealing with them and accepting them. I think you were in a stage of in denial and although you've tried many times to accept reality, you still couldn't because it's human nature to wonder "what if" and that's understandable. Right now, timing is everything and unfortunately time is working against you and so you must be patient. Also, realize your expectations and how you already know they are realistically unobtainable (or do you truly believe so?) If they are obtainable, be patient and wait for them. If they are not, you already know what you have to do. Try to see the situation differently and try to accept the situation. I will help you through this dear!!!! ttyl!!!
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