I wish for snow, the kind that will splatter on my new red coat. I wish for the familiar voices of friends who squeal “a new red coat!” I wish I walked outside for more than 5 seconds a day so I can feel the sun (the rain, the wind, the UV rays) on my face. I wish the speeches and pep-talks I give people penetrated my heart as easily as it penetrated my head… I wish it were easier to discern between the two. I wish I knew which tears are reflexive, which are responsive, which are 50/50, which are brave, which are weak, which I can trust, and which should be urgently wiped away.
I wish everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
Blogging is most fun when I don't have time to blog, thus why two weeks have elapsed since my last test and despite the myriad of life-altering events that happened, I am just now updating.
Note to self, don't sprinkle powdered cinnamon into iced latte, it will never melt, but end up between my teeth. Here I am, sitting in class, checking in my little mirror between every sip.
Another giant leap for Tian! You should all be proud. I confronted a past ghost with one sweep of a confession, and while the wound is still there (much to my impatience), I think time will take care of the rest. This is unfamiliar territory for me, leaving the door ajar after saying goodbye. I only hope my inability to completely turn my back on a rather special friendship is a step towards maturity and bravery, instead of sloppy indecisiveness. Besides, as Maria said, should I find myself diverging, it's never too late for plan B.
Maybe someday I can say more, spinning in a retrospective insight. But right now, there is too much hurt too close by. I am proud of myself for one thing -- I would never settle for second-rate affection, from anyone!
Another mirror check.
First episode of Grey's Anatomy Season 3 did not disappoint, can't wait for next Thursday.
Note to self, don't sprinkle powdered cinnamon into iced latte, it will never melt, but end up between my teeth. Here I am, sitting in class, checking in my little mirror between every sip.
Another giant leap for Tian! You should all be proud. I confronted a past ghost with one sweep of a confession, and while the wound is still there (much to my impatience), I think time will take care of the rest. This is unfamiliar territory for me, leaving the door ajar after saying goodbye. I only hope my inability to completely turn my back on a rather special friendship is a step towards maturity and bravery, instead of sloppy indecisiveness. Besides, as Maria said, should I find myself diverging, it's never too late for plan B.
Maybe someday I can say more, spinning in a retrospective insight. But right now, there is too much hurt too close by. I am proud of myself for one thing -- I would never settle for second-rate affection, from anyone!
Another mirror check.
First episode of Grey's Anatomy Season 3 did not disappoint, can't wait for next Thursday.
Monday, September 04, 2006
I had to tell my self stop, out loud, to close the Anthropologie.com website. I wish I could leap onto the page and touch each and every one of those beautiful garments, screaming to be loved. I don't have time to look at clothes I can't afford, and I don't have time to fool myself into thinking I can afford them. I don't even have time to type these sentences. I can't wait for the end of tests. It's like waiting... to exhale. :)
Saturday, August 26, 2006
I hung the dress on my closet door, sometimes putting my hand across its soft whiteness, sometimes taking a nostalgic sniff of scents long gone. Today, I put it away. Zipped it up in the black bag, said a silent goodbye, and told myself that sometimes in life, we just don't get what we want. It's not as simple as splurging on the shiny new phone, or finding excuses to buy another black dress... some things are out of our reach despite all efforts and determination. I must be getting old, because I've been telling myself that a lot, each time sounding more true.
And then to be fair to myself, life moves on. I can't guarantee I won't look back. But I dare say that each time, I will remember all the trials and error, enough to turn me back around.
My first test only two weeks away... I'm nervous. I won't focus on the two hour nap I just woke up from, or the fact that I'm blogging and not studying... I'll just publish this and go right back to Streptococcus...
And then to be fair to myself, life moves on. I can't guarantee I won't look back. But I dare say that each time, I will remember all the trials and error, enough to turn me back around.
My first test only two weeks away... I'm nervous. I won't focus on the two hour nap I just woke up from, or the fact that I'm blogging and not studying... I'll just publish this and go right back to Streptococcus...
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Never, in a million years, did I think I would hear Shanghainess echoing down my hall way, slipping into my little apartment! I heard it all summer, a world away. I hope those people walk by my door often, and deliver me a daily dosage of home.
I'm addicted to material possessions! I can't stop. Should I exchange my Sprint phone for something cheap or dish out 80 bucks for a beautiful new phone?! This new phone would only last me two years anyway... but if it's the ever so popular Kantana, it would me happy every time I see it (at least for the first week). If only it could deliver a couple of long-waited calls!
So here goes my Saturday... with only one noteset accomplished. I'm about to go running around the park with my little buddy. My first Ultimate Frisbee experience last week reminded me of how much fun it was to sweat outside. It's been so long since I ran outside... dating back to the outer loop with Maria! Remember those days???
Change of subject --
A bubble for two; that is what I have found. Sadly, one cannot solidify a bubble... no padding, strengthening, thickening allowed. It is ever so fragile, so delicate, so unstable, and yet I have put in so much, too much, of myself into it. On Friday, this bubble almost lifted off the ground, and I was reminded of how far it could go. But the moment ended with no lift-off, because I fear that like all bubbles, it would burst with distance.
I'm addicted to material possessions! I can't stop. Should I exchange my Sprint phone for something cheap or dish out 80 bucks for a beautiful new phone?! This new phone would only last me two years anyway... but if it's the ever so popular Kantana, it would me happy every time I see it (at least for the first week). If only it could deliver a couple of long-waited calls!
So here goes my Saturday... with only one noteset accomplished. I'm about to go running around the park with my little buddy. My first Ultimate Frisbee experience last week reminded me of how much fun it was to sweat outside. It's been so long since I ran outside... dating back to the outer loop with Maria! Remember those days???
Change of subject --
A bubble for two; that is what I have found. Sadly, one cannot solidify a bubble... no padding, strengthening, thickening allowed. It is ever so fragile, so delicate, so unstable, and yet I have put in so much, too much, of myself into it. On Friday, this bubble almost lifted off the ground, and I was reminded of how far it could go. But the moment ended with no lift-off, because I fear that like all bubbles, it would burst with distance.
Monday, August 14, 2006
When did it all begin? He was waiting for the bus, standing so closely to the curb. I was either coming or going, but noticed him along the way. And that could have been it... except it wasn't. He stayed close, but ever so far. He put his arms around me, but alwasy kept his distance. There were words, but no truth. I stepped out of his world, further away. Years elapsed. And that could have been it... except it wasn't. Life happened, everyday. A million people passed by, everyday. I pushed thoughts of him aside, everyday.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I'm willing myself to admit it, maybe I am lonely. But I must also will myself to become stronger, just in case the long road ahead gets even worse. Just last night, the short distance I traveled, by myself, as my friend pauses to wait for her significant other, is quite symbolic. She timidly asked to me wait with her, wiggling in fear that I should... It's those times I wish I had someone of my own to wait for, to count on. But I mustn't look for distractions, for substitutions, for second hand affection. I must face the emptiness head on.
退一步，海阔天空。There must be no shame or regret associated with something so beautiful. I put my best foot forward, literally. If it isn't well-received, that is no fault of my own. That time, that place, that person... it's all apart of something bigger than I could over-step. I sought confirmation, proof, concrete words... when what I really needed is simple action, sadly absent. So... I'm trying, trying, trying... to step back, to move on. To let 缘份 do its thing... one more time.
That is not to say I will remain idle... This is my life, after all.
My first pair of Aldo, just to make Thuy proud. Actually, she couldn't have talked me out of it... there is something timeless about short heels that those 3-inches, no matter how glamorous, just can't compare.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
When other people are busy looking for someone trustworthy and dependable, I wasted all my time searching for the feeling, the spark... and what have I ended up with? A few transient moments of breathlessness for an infinity of anguish and pain. While life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, is it not better to trot more leveled ground... especially as we get older, and our hearts get weaker.
It is only the third week of school, and already I feel battled and worn. I suppose if it must go down some time, it is better to put up that white flag in the beginning, where there is still time to recover, re-group, and find a brave face. This too shall pass, right???
It is not a tragedy yet, for thankgoodness, I'm still young. There is no need to right past wrongs, but time enough to learn from my mistakes.
It is only the third week of school, and already I feel battled and worn. I suppose if it must go down some time, it is better to put up that white flag in the beginning, where there is still time to recover, re-group, and find a brave face. This too shall pass, right???
It is not a tragedy yet, for thankgoodness, I'm still young. There is no need to right past wrongs, but time enough to learn from my mistakes.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Certain steps, once taken, can never be re-traced. For better or worse, I will not be the same. 2:55 pm, here I am... In a couple of hours, my heart will be somewhere completely different. I hope there is excitement and understanding, and communication (or one of those silences dripping with words)... But just in case I get that familiar sensation of a sinking heart, I hope I can summon some strength. It will be a noisy night, and those can be the most lonesome of all.
Monday, July 31, 2006
One shouldn't worry so much what happened yesterday, because you never know what will happen tomorrow.
That is my advice to myself as I sit here, book open, mind a million miles away. I haven't quite made up my mind to end this distraction, so you might say I'm indulging a bit before the crack down.
From this view out of the MEB window, New Orleans is beautiful. The clear glass reflects the clear night, with a distant cathedral top fluorescently lit up. My own reflection interrupts the view, but an imprint, an outline. I can focus in and focus on myself... or I can look beyond, and ponder the woos of the world.
But either way, you see, the night is wasted... for chapter 6 immunology came and went... leaving me no wiser.
That is my advice to myself as I sit here, book open, mind a million miles away. I haven't quite made up my mind to end this distraction, so you might say I'm indulging a bit before the crack down.
From this view out of the MEB window, New Orleans is beautiful. The clear glass reflects the clear night, with a distant cathedral top fluorescently lit up. My own reflection interrupts the view, but an imprint, an outline. I can focus in and focus on myself... or I can look beyond, and ponder the woos of the world.
But either way, you see, the night is wasted... for chapter 6 immunology came and went... leaving me no wiser.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I can't write diaries like I used to. The world of electronics have made hand written words much too slow, my cursive writing simply shortened versions of true thoughts. This is too bad, because the present is quite worthy of jotting down, for it has taken a long time coming...
Yesterday was my White Coat Ceremony, and I'm so glad I didn't NOT go because my parents couldn't make it. I told them those ceremonies are for the people in the audience much more so than the people walking across the stage. After all, if no one saw your flash in the spotlight (and there are no pictures to validate), who can remember those moments afterwards.
But I was so wrong!
It made an ordinary Saturday evening less than ordinary. Lasting or fleeting, I felt renewed and encouraged. It is necessary to hear cheesy adjectives, exalted claims, to remind myself the honor and privilege of the medical profession. I'm glad the ceremony took place at the beginning of the second year, after we have toiled and momentarily overcome... If this were at the beginning of freshman year, it would just be another naive salute to a profession I really know nothing about.
And there were pictures... many many. Some just a pose, a smile... others I can recall the exact angle of the face and brush of the hair... There were many voices, some just passing greetings, others still vibrate the air. It is not fair to remember, to lament... Once passed, the magic can only be re-felt, never truly recalled.
I asked a friend whether this will be a good year, and he asked me to define "good". I can't. Good is good.
Yesterday was my White Coat Ceremony, and I'm so glad I didn't NOT go because my parents couldn't make it. I told them those ceremonies are for the people in the audience much more so than the people walking across the stage. After all, if no one saw your flash in the spotlight (and there are no pictures to validate), who can remember those moments afterwards.
But I was so wrong!
It made an ordinary Saturday evening less than ordinary. Lasting or fleeting, I felt renewed and encouraged. It is necessary to hear cheesy adjectives, exalted claims, to remind myself the honor and privilege of the medical profession. I'm glad the ceremony took place at the beginning of the second year, after we have toiled and momentarily overcome... If this were at the beginning of freshman year, it would just be another naive salute to a profession I really know nothing about.
And there were pictures... many many. Some just a pose, a smile... others I can recall the exact angle of the face and brush of the hair... There were many voices, some just passing greetings, others still vibrate the air. It is not fair to remember, to lament... Once passed, the magic can only be re-felt, never truly recalled.
I asked a friend whether this will be a good year, and he asked me to define "good". I can't. Good is good.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Here is my blog for Camp Tiger, tucked away in the draft folder. I might have written it in China, and forgot to post it...
My little camper Kathryn is nine years old, has ADD/mild cerebral palsy, remained defiant and resilient till the end when she cracked down and told us she didn't want to leave. Oh, she loves us after all.
I held her hand and walked her to her car, telling her to stop picking on her fingers, to stop rejecting band-aids, to really use the bathroom when she goes to the bathroom... None of which she really understood, and I'm sure none she will remember. But those are parting words, and they must be said.
My little camper Kathryn is nine years old, has ADD/mild cerebral palsy, remained defiant and resilient till the end when she cracked down and told us she didn't want to leave. Oh, she loves us after all.
I held her hand and walked her to her car, telling her to stop picking on her fingers, to stop rejecting band-aids, to really use the bathroom when she goes to the bathroom... None of which she really understood, and I'm sure none she will remember. But those are parting words, and they must be said.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Block three came and went, just like that. Sitting immobile in a chair for eighteen hours a day, no matter how comfortable the chair, is unhealthy and not recommended. I’ve learned to love my fifteen minute naps sitting upright – lean my head back, pull the sweater over my arms, and pretend I don’t care about the pile of notes inches away. Sometimes I wake up refreshed, other times simply more aware of how pitiable this life-style is.
A small distraction intersected my bland but peaceful life. Thirty minutes of breathless trance, in exchange for three days of tearful psychosis. Don’t ask me if it’s worth it; I’m neither rational nor prudent. Just as it is easier to spread the ripple in a still pond, so it took no effort to shake up my life. It was his carelessness. It was my fault.
This is all for the best, at this particular time in my life. No time to part, when what I want should demand all the time I have. Since I can’t fast forward, can’t rewind, can’t play without skipping beats, it is best to put it all on pause. I shall do my utmost to retire this already infinitesimal role. In return, I ask only for the absence of anguish.
A small distraction intersected my bland but peaceful life. Thirty minutes of breathless trance, in exchange for three days of tearful psychosis. Don’t ask me if it’s worth it; I’m neither rational nor prudent. Just as it is easier to spread the ripple in a still pond, so it took no effort to shake up my life. It was his carelessness. It was my fault.
This is all for the best, at this particular time in my life. No time to part, when what I want should demand all the time I have. Since I can’t fast forward, can’t rewind, can’t play without skipping beats, it is best to put it all on pause. I shall do my utmost to retire this already infinitesimal role. In return, I ask only for the absence of anguish.
Camp Tiger Wine and Cheese auction. Great cause, beautiful people.
Nothing like a practical joke to lighten the mood in the red room. Marshall is the ingenius mind behind this saran wrapped table. 
I miss studying with you Maria! Here is a moment of my weekend visit in Dallas, where she unselfishly parted with valuable studying time to entertain me. :)
VP of Fruits and Vegetables for life!!! 
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
I haven’t been so homesick in a long time, so homesick that I devised ways of avoiding tasks of the present to stretch out extensions of yesterday into tomorrow. Walking out of the jet bridge in BR, a departing flight to Saint Louis in the adjacent gate tempted me a bit too much. Would begging and an absurd amount of tears convince the security people that I had boarded the wrong flight and that I desperately needed to return to Saint Louis? Even now… I wonder…
The tragedy of walking blindly into places of flashing red, with eyes wide open, is that there is no one to blame. Do it enough and you won’t want to face the person staring back in the mirror. What could be sadder?
American Idol, sorry Frankie, can’t vote… they’re all stars to me. :)
The tragedy of walking blindly into places of flashing red, with eyes wide open, is that there is no one to blame. Do it enough and you won’t want to face the person staring back in the mirror. What could be sadder?
American Idol, sorry Frankie, can’t vote… they’re all stars to me. :)
Saturday, January 28, 2006
The first time I got bored studying, I opened a recommended link on ECG. It turned out to be on the Nobel Prize home page, so naturally I clicked on the literature section. The second time I got bored, I opened an acceptance speech on the 2006 winner. A play write I’m sorry to say I have never heard of – Harold Pinter. I read his words looking for a usable piece of advice for my own life, being desiccated for inspiration these days. I couldn’t finish reading it though… after I correctly identified a couple of troubling feelings. One of his playwas was called Homecoming.
Happy Lunar New Year! I hope wherever you are, you are eating dumpling and watching 春节联欢晚会。 Because without either, it is simply not authentic, and there is no need in trying …
Happy Lunar New Year! I hope wherever you are, you are eating dumpling and watching 春节联欢晚会。 Because without either, it is simply not authentic, and there is no need in trying …
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Agghhh... I need some distraction, why is no one emailing me?! hint hint :)
My third day onboard the love boat (aka LSU-Finnjet). I draw comparisons daily to my first cruise experience. It's much more fun to find the similarities (because in truth, the two boats are COMPLETELY different), such as the distinct cruise-boat soap smell I just experienced in the bathroom -- the same stainless steel cleanliness. I am currently sitting in the red room (see photo below), which in another life time (of the boat), I am sure was a chic spot. Right now, however, it is occupied by medical/dental/etc students armored with headphones and water. The clicking of my key-board is actually the loudest noise in the room.
intercepting study time
Okay, semi-done with my cardiac cycle.
What a crazy weekend. Saturday night my roomies, Shelly, and Sashi took me to Tsunami for a belated birthday outing. You can see the entire downtown Baton Rouge from top of the restaurant. It's very Sex and the City, even more so as I was sipping my cosmopolitan, pretending not to be a medical student. Dinner included Rainbow Roll and Caterpillar, both bringing back memories Houston sushi. :)
I find that more and more, my present life if about re-capturing bits and pieces of yesterday, when yesterday passed so fast I barely had time to live it in its rightful moment.
Nightly dinners with a healthful selection of major food groups. :) I've missed going to common's every night for dinner... I get to do it again!
The Red Room, where all my studying has taken place.
My third day onboard the love boat (aka LSU-Finnjet). I draw comparisons daily to my first cruise experience. It's much more fun to find the similarities (because in truth, the two boats are COMPLETELY different), such as the distinct cruise-boat soap smell I just experienced in the bathroom -- the same stainless steel cleanliness. I am currently sitting in the red room (see photo below), which in another life time (of the boat), I am sure was a chic spot. Right now, however, it is occupied by medical/dental/etc students armored with headphones and water. The clicking of my key-board is actually the loudest noise in the room.
intercepting study time
Okay, semi-done with my cardiac cycle.
What a crazy weekend. Saturday night my roomies, Shelly, and Sashi took me to Tsunami for a belated birthday outing. You can see the entire downtown Baton Rouge from top of the restaurant. It's very Sex and the City, even more so as I was sipping my cosmopolitan, pretending not to be a medical student. Dinner included Rainbow Roll and Caterpillar, both bringing back memories Houston sushi. :)
I find that more and more, my present life if about re-capturing bits and pieces of yesterday, when yesterday passed so fast I barely had time to live it in its rightful moment.
Nightly dinners with a healthful selection of major food groups. :) I've missed going to common's every night for dinner... I get to do it again! 
The Red Room, where all my studying has taken place.
Old State Capital and according to Mark Twain, the monstrosity of the Mississippi, but remodeled and quite lovely from top of Tsunami.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Today I overcame my fear of cooking. I'm tired of always putting on aprons, chopping ingredients, stirring mixtures, whipping up occasional desserts, but never getting down and dirty with a complete meal. I've always heard cooking was theraputic, and I've been collecting recipes and watching food-network for a good two years. It was time to hit the store for some real groceries (not my usual fruits + broccoli + yogart shopping list).
I'm no Iron Cheft, or Linda Lee... but maybe with practice. :)
Starting with Garden Fresh Vegetable Soup. It contains yogart and I'm so glad it didn't curdle! Remember, no boiling! Maybe worthy of duplication. Perhaps no lemon next time. All goes well with Luna di Luna.
Lemon chicken. Note to self, I don't like sour food! That is not to underplay the fact this is the first time I've ever cooked real meat (not counting seafood). Perhaps I picked this recipe because it called for paprika, and I wanted to put some use to the big bottle I have. Only used 1/2 teaspoon though.
Chinese pancakes, aka ji dan bing, that I jazzed up with green onion. Could have used more salt. I still have a bundle of green onions left, maybe next time!
I'm no Iron Cheft, or Linda Lee... but maybe with practice. :)
Starting with Garden Fresh Vegetable Soup. It contains yogart and I'm so glad it didn't curdle! Remember, no boiling! Maybe worthy of duplication. Perhaps no lemon next time. All goes well with Luna di Luna.
Lemon chicken. Note to self, I don't like sour food! That is not to underplay the fact this is the first time I've ever cooked real meat (not counting seafood). Perhaps I picked this recipe because it called for paprika, and I wanted to put some use to the big bottle I have. Only used 1/2 teaspoon though.
Chinese pancakes, aka ji dan bing, that I jazzed up with green onion. Could have used more salt. I still have a bundle of green onions left, maybe next time!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Confusing thoughts...
Some days just sitting down by the round table in my living room, with a pile of papers and books and my laptop, makes my stomach hurt.
I have nothing... instead I give you this --
"I never can quite say as much as I know. I look at other parrots and I wonder if it's the same for them, if somebody is trapped in each of them, paying some kind of price for living their life in a certain way..."
-- Jealous Husband Returns in Form of Parrot from the NEW YORKER by Robert Olen Butler
Disturbing little short story, really. Not about reincarnation at all, but wishing to make people understand... communication, miscommunication... and many other things I can't put my finger on. Such is the effect many short stories have on me -- I know I learned something, I'm just not sure what (or how to say it, which bring me back to the quote again).
Baton Rouge = Perkins. On most days, I travel up and down this one long street, exhausting my gas. It has everything I need, almost.
Tomorrow is my turn to cook for my roomies and Shelly. Does it matter that I actually make the food, or is the whole point to share a meal with friends? I'm 99% sure I'll be buying one thing or another to feed my friends. I've reached the conclusion that I can only cook for myself.
Some days just sitting down by the round table in my living room, with a pile of papers and books and my laptop, makes my stomach hurt.
I have nothing... instead I give you this --
"I never can quite say as much as I know. I look at other parrots and I wonder if it's the same for them, if somebody is trapped in each of them, paying some kind of price for living their life in a certain way..."
-- Jealous Husband Returns in Form of Parrot from the NEW YORKER by Robert Olen Butler
Disturbing little short story, really. Not about reincarnation at all, but wishing to make people understand... communication, miscommunication... and many other things I can't put my finger on. Such is the effect many short stories have on me -- I know I learned something, I'm just not sure what (or how to say it, which bring me back to the quote again).
Baton Rouge = Perkins. On most days, I travel up and down this one long street, exhausting my gas. It has everything I need, almost.
Tomorrow is my turn to cook for my roomies and Shelly. Does it matter that I actually make the food, or is the whole point to share a meal with friends? I'm 99% sure I'll be buying one thing or another to feed my friends. I've reached the conclusion that I can only cook for myself.
Monday, January 09, 2006
The 8th was a great day! Thank you, dear friends, for making my first birthday away from home so wonderful. I believe that passing dishes around the dinner table inspires warmth, ease, and conversation. Oh how I will miss the carefree state of bumming in front of a TV.
A few pictures to share!
I started the day with a call to my little swallow for the first time in …. I won’t say how long… okay, a whole year! Talking to her scared me a little – how could the loss of a year cause no injury? Were there minute changes in her, in us, that escaped me? Are friendships fragile or resilient? Are the ones that have fallen apart because of neglect or because they were never that strong to begin with? Perhaps my seemingly handicapped ability to dial the phone is really a process of natural selection. OMG! That’s twisted. New Year’s resolution – be a girl, use the phone!
The only thing better than admiring a beautiful cake is cutting into the beautiful cake.
Oh yeah... and today was the first day of classes. Enough said.
A few pictures to share!
I started the day with a call to my little swallow for the first time in …. I won’t say how long… okay, a whole year! Talking to her scared me a little – how could the loss of a year cause no injury? Were there minute changes in her, in us, that escaped me? Are friendships fragile or resilient? Are the ones that have fallen apart because of neglect or because they were never that strong to begin with? Perhaps my seemingly handicapped ability to dial the phone is really a process of natural selection. OMG! That’s twisted. New Year’s resolution – be a girl, use the phone!
India's Restaurant, where the food is hot (in both sense of the word) and the company is hot (pick your sense of the word).
The only thing better than admiring a beautiful cake is cutting into the beautiful cake.
Oh yeah... and today was the first day of classes. Enough said.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
I left Baton Rouge in the wee hours of the morning, when it was dark outside. I drove back tonight under the same lighting, but at a very different hour. Eleven hours of driving came and went; the same can be said about the past two weeks. I blinked. No more blinking.
I went through a funny roller coaster of emotions in the past few days. From mild boredom of the same vacation routine, to great anxiety at the beginning of another semester, to horrid homesickness at the prospect of leaving my parents, to tonight... grateful for wonderful friends to share all these feelings with. At the present moment, six minutes till my birthday, I am experiencing the familiar inklings of anticipation and excitement. Less excitement because I have too many disappointments under my belt to expect naively of the unknown. Nonetheless, there is the hope...
I can't end a whole semester of tortuous studying without a conclusion. Thus, I quote my favorite book of the moment (Harry Potter VI) --
"We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, but battle on." -- Albus Dumbordore
Hey girls, I think there is a reason why our reunion hasn't happened... We're waiting for a certain someone to get back to this side of the world!
I went through a funny roller coaster of emotions in the past few days. From mild boredom of the same vacation routine, to great anxiety at the beginning of another semester, to horrid homesickness at the prospect of leaving my parents, to tonight... grateful for wonderful friends to share all these feelings with. At the present moment, six minutes till my birthday, I am experiencing the familiar inklings of anticipation and excitement. Less excitement because I have too many disappointments under my belt to expect naively of the unknown. Nonetheless, there is the hope...
I can't end a whole semester of tortuous studying without a conclusion. Thus, I quote my favorite book of the moment (Harry Potter VI) --
"We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, but battle on." -- Albus Dumbordore
Hey girls, I think there is a reason why our reunion hasn't happened... We're waiting for a certain someone to get back to this side of the world!
Friday, January 06, 2006
A beautiful glass vase shattered in the downstairs bathroom this morning. I didn't hear it, but my mom was puzzled by the fact that no one was in the bathroom when it happened. It contained nothing but potpourri and a bar of jasmine soap, so weight is an unlikely culprit.
I leave Saint Louis tomorrow, a city that has been quite stingy with its sunshine during my stay. When the sun came out this afternoon, my mom exclaimed that she saw a smile on my face as a direct response.
It took six CD's to backup all the power points from my first semester. It's official, gross anatomy is over. I feel quite unqualified to put it behind me. How much of the knowledge I crammed into myself have actually made a lasting impression in my brain? More importantly, did I just waste six CD's? Will I ever open up those files again and look through the same slides???
I have a lllooonnnggg drive ahead of me tomorrow. But I'm not worried, it's not the drive that weights heavily on my mind, but the goodbyes that must precede.
I leave Saint Louis tomorrow, a city that has been quite stingy with its sunshine during my stay. When the sun came out this afternoon, my mom exclaimed that she saw a smile on my face as a direct response.
It took six CD's to backup all the power points from my first semester. It's official, gross anatomy is over. I feel quite unqualified to put it behind me. How much of the knowledge I crammed into myself have actually made a lasting impression in my brain? More importantly, did I just waste six CD's? Will I ever open up those files again and look through the same slides???
I have a lllooonnnggg drive ahead of me tomorrow. But I'm not worried, it's not the drive that weights heavily on my mind, but the goodbyes that must precede.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
If I had...
If I had extra three hundred bucks, guess where I would spend it. No, not inside here store, but definitely on her show. That's right, I'm not ashamed... I'm a fan. :) Since I'm only a poor student, I settled for a deck of cards as a momento that I was inside her store. :)
Christmas Tree in the Bellagio
There are certain advantages to visiting tourist destinations during the holidays, for the Bellagio fountain sounds extra cheerful when it is dancing to Christmas music. This Christmas tree hovers over a huge pool filled with floating cranberries, polar bears, and other absurdly elaborate concoctions. I'm so envious of little kids today... I felt like dancing in circles even in my old age!
The Venetian
Why is this photo blue? Looking out from the Venetian balcony with its gondola rides. Ceasars in the distance and Mirage across the street.
Stratosphere
According to my one-street map of Vegas, the stratosphere marks the end of the strip. My first tour of the city took me far past the lights and glitz of Las Vegas Blvd, through deserted streets and beaten down strip bars, thus try as I might, the luxiously lit streets and hotels could never completely blind me. It was one giant disco ball that I saw right through.
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