I've always had trouble compartmentalizing portions of my life, one area spills into another and before I know it, everything is gooey and mushy... I think I've never made enough of an effort, always surrendering before building any momentum of resistance.

I'm building an illusion as we speak, a shaky construction based on nothing but mid-night hallucinations. I indulge them out of boredom? weakness? Stupidity? There is only one way to collapse and that is down. Yet... knowing this...

I regret not wanting to put solid events and real names into my blog; there is a distinct possibility of looking back and not knowing what I'm talking about.