Books

I haven't read anything autobiographical in... years.  After reading this book, that is all I want to read. The writing in this book is hauntingly beautiful, and ultimately is what propels and sells their extraordinary friendship.  Passages that I underlined, highlighted, read both in my mind over and over, as well as out loud.  What seems unrelatable just makes sense to me.

It was that day when the end of summer intersects perfectly with the start of fall, so it was warm but the breeze was light and nearly cool.

What legalized abortion brought to this country, along with safe medical practices, was the expectation of shame, the need to wonder if you were doing the right thing even though you knew exactly what you'd do in the end.  We could have our abortions but we had to feel horrible for the decision we made, even if it was hardly a decision at all.  So while social decency compels me to say that on the train uptown we cried and cursed fate and wondered what life might be like with a baby, the truth is we did not.  I could not imagine Lucy looking after a baby for an afternoon, much less a lifetime.  She did not try to imagine it at all...

Grief isn't something to 'be gotten through.'  It has no life of its own like that, it's just plain and imply there.  It's one of the things which tells us we are human. [letter from Lucy to Ann]

Wish I could say good things about it, but in truth is it was just ok.  Maybe because I read too many mystery/suspense books this past month, but this one is simply average - in writing and content.  There are some smart diversions and plot twists, some may even consider it a page turner.  There are better ones out there, that's all.

That time I spent $400 on a hair dryer...

Not just any  hair dryer, but the Dyson Supersonic Blow Dryer!

No one, in my socioeconomic status, would PLAN to spent $400 on a beauty product that a) doesn't claim to slow down aging b) doesn't take my face any closer to that of say... Natalie Portman.

Yet there I was, standing in the checkout line at Sephora with my little $18 eye liner, self congratulating on leaving that place without blowing a fortune, when out of the corner of my eye, I see it.  The sleek circular hair blow dryer that so far I have only seen in pictures and on blogs.  I halted the checkout lady who (mistakenly) thought I was done with my purchases and demanded that she hand it to me.

Next couple of minutes went by in a blur.  I remember vaguely of reaching out to touch it, holding in my hand, thinking what are the chances I could pass it up and go home to do some research before buying it (zero).  Next thing I know I'm holding an oversized Sephora bag, eyeliner lost somewhere in there, 700 more points on my Sephora Beauty VIB card.

That makes this Dyson hair blow dryer the ultimate impulse purchase.  At least with my last impulse purchase  I went into the store with something similar in mind...

On selling a house...

We are in the midst of selling a house.  No one has told me before but I am convinced that it is a milestone of adulthood.  Consider me educated.

If you are lucky, and there are lucky ones, it goes off without a hitch.  We THOUGHT we were lucky, but oh the line between lucky and unlucky is razor thin and changes on a dime.  Needless to say, it is not going well.  It requires daily pep talks.  It requires listening to all the self-motivational podcasts I skipped before.  It requires temper tantrums and quick apologies.  It requires patience, faith, and more patience.  Not my forte.  But I'm working on it...

Olivia Lately ...

2 years and 1 months old.

Two words - Bubble Guppies.  Olivia discovered them and loves them.  I try to contain them to much needed mommy breaks so she can sit contently watching and I can run around doing things.  We don't know how much is consumed on weekends home with daddy.  The way she says Bubble Guppies is a treat all in itself.

Potty Training has begun.  I really wasn't ready.  With all the hassles and stress of selling a house, I just wasn't ready to deal with unplanned pee pee and poo poo.  But Olivia is so ready!  They put her on a potty at school and she has been asking for potty potty since.  I still haven't read my book yet, but got her a little potty cover yesterday and have been at it since!  I may or may not have jumped up and down while clapping when she peed into a real toilet then tells me "all done".  This morning while peeing she pointed to the door and told me to "go"!  Is she asking for privacy??!

It's time to google some articles on potty training because honestly I have no idea where to go from here.

On eating - don't ask.

On playing - still loving books, still loves her kitchen set, still obsessed with her bear bear (although the relationship is tumultuous, sometimes with bear bear been thrown across the room).

On words - Olivia's favorite song to sing is "daddy finger daddy finger".  She can sing the whole sing, although certain words are skipped and substituted.  The tune though, is spot on.  Olivia is very bossy, with favorite words being - come on mama, come here, no mama, and go.

Friday Morning(s)

She woke up this morning with a unfamiliar sense of ease.  Scanning her mind for a reason why.  None.  The puke covered sheets from last night are still fermenting in the washer, the baby is still coughing (foretelling more puke covered sheets to come), and nothing especially good in her inbox(es).  But, the lightless is definitely there.  The OCD in her is muted.  She treads across shiny hardwood floor, races down the freshly vacuumed stairs, and leaves behind a trail of dirty socks, unmade beds, unwashed faces.  She waits for the OCD to scream out.  Nothing.  She goes straight for coffee.  Coffee is her reinforcement, to drown out whatever darkness may be brewing.