I have quite a busy 2016 ahead of me. Trips, both with husband and with girlfriends, are pencilled into my calendar. Highlighted and double underlined. I even made a last minute commitment to go to Wyoming in one impulse morning. On the surface, it seems that I am one busy mama that still has her independence. But close to the surface are bubbling doubts and worries that I will be leaving my little baby behind.
Somethings look the same because Olivia goes to daycare so on my days off, I can still go to the gym, go shopping, cook, clean... Also my mom is flexible enough to come watch the baby for weeks at a time, so my husband and I can sneak away for an extended trip that otherwise wouldn't be possible. BUT, let me tell you, there is not a moment of these "alone" times that I don't think about O. Even cycling at the gym, I have my phone close by in case her school calls me. One time I hopped off a cycling bike so fast in the middle of class I almost passed out.
My point it, I'm not the same. I will never be the same again. It is better to know it, recognize it, and slowly learn to accept it...
Easter 2016. One week shy of 14 months.
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