My last sociology paper is turned in and my mind is utterly empty... The kind of emptiness that echoes in the dark. Even now, with my hands clicking away on the keyboard, hoping for things/words/inspirations, I hear nothing.
The presentation tomorrow is under control; the modern dance is choreographed and ready to go!
For the fear of working alone, I'm going with Maria tonight. If I didn't fear working alone, I would also work tomorrow. The guilt of looking at my dad until he bought me the beautiful coat means thinking twice before asking my parents for other extravagances. Thus... my own little visa... thus money... thus work.
How could I ever hope to be a writer if I can't make trivialness magnificent? That's what great writers do, they make air irresistible, while I can only dramatize drama. I should tell you about the crack in my Christmas mug that mysteriously appeared three weeks ago after I begin to rely on it for drinking everything above room temperature, and how it extends halfway down the middle and halfway through the side. It is permanently stained with what could be coffee, tea, or chocolate... but mostly likely none of the above since it can't be scraped or licked off. Also three weeks ago, I realized that who I thought had given it to me didn't give it to me; and thus it no longer is what it was because what it was was the heart of a person, not a slanted crack on the side of a cup.
That's the end. Promise. :)
5 comments:
I completely disagree that great writers make triviality magnificent. Maybe they _can_, or are capable, but inevitably what makes a writer great, what he/she is remembered for, is depth and vision.... and I still believe that if you have the vision, the words find a way of reaching the surface.
Anonymous2
There are visions to be found in everyday things. And it's not the words that reach the surface, but rather, words build a staircase that lead US to the surface.
I was referring to the surface of the mind, that from the depths of conviction, and vision, the right words and phrases often just seem to come forth.....but you _do_ put it very nicely, too...:-)
Anon2
"a charm a single charm is doubtful. if the red is rose and there is a gate surrounding it, if inside is let in and there places change then certainly something is upright. it is earnest."
do you aspire to be a writer?
anonymous1
I don't think making trivialities beautiful makes a person a good writer. I admit I am not a great reader, but my opinion of a good writer is someone who can engage my imagination with their words. Perhaps that makes me a difficult audience. But then I'm just making myself feel better about not reading much. Your words are beautiful, Tian. Never doubt that. If you want a critic to pre-read for you, send it my way. One thing I've learned in my field of study is how to be critical, whether good or bad. But I've also had to swallow that difficult pill that tells us nothing is ever "perfect." Perfect exists only in our imagination. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to achieve perfection. It simply means that we have to let go of things at a certain point, and make the best of what we've accomplished. (or something to that point) My thoughts are scattered at the moment.
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