2020 Election

Where were you when you heard the big news? 

I was at work, live streaming CNN from my phone app.  I brought a phone charger to work for the occasion.  After four sleepless nights and restless days, I was not going to miss the moment of the announcement.  

It was Saturday, Nov 7th 2020.  I had stayed up past midnight almost every single night since Nov 3rd, in hopes of some good news.  From horror on the first night to muted thrill on Friday night, I was exhausted but most invested I have ever been in an election.  When I looked at my work calendar in the beginning of the year, I was relieved to see I was off work on the 3rd and 4th.  Little did I know, four days later, we still didn't know the final result of the 2020 election.  I downloaded the CNN app and returned to work.  It was mostly on mute, because I work in the reddest part of North Georgia.  

I have never been very invested in politics.  First time I looked up and paid attention to an election was when Obama won in 2008.  I didn't vote.  I was in medical school and tunnel vision was name of the game.  I remember tearing up for progress, and blogged about hope.  Fast forward to 2016.  I was shocked at the election results but told myself it "couldn't possibly be that bad".  After all, the US government is all about checks and balance.  

I was wrong.  The following four years yielded horror after horror.  Just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, the administration showed no regard to humanity, no regard for peace, no regard for common decency.  

I registered to vote sometime in 2017.  And I waited, patiently, for the 2020 election, for the moment when I can join the country and kick (I mean vote) him out of office.  I am slightly ashamed to say my hatred for him runs deep, it is personal. 

When CNN announced for BIDEN-HARRIS at 11:25 AM, I cried.  I saw the new counts for Pennsylvania came up and unmuted my phone.  I sat forward, my heart stopped, and when Wolf Blitzer projected the presidency for BIDEN, I screen captured that moment.  I sat in relief, happiness, tears of joy.  Wolfe said "for tens of millions of Americans, this is the end of a nightmare".  

I pray for safe transfer of power.  I pray for the future of this country.  I pray for the shining beacon of hope to regain its brightness.  For four years, it was shrouded in the dark grey shadow of a narcissistic and unconsciounable leader.  Please, let this be a new beginning. 

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."  - Dr. Martin Luther King

 

 It has been almost four weeks since O interacted with another kid.  It hurts my heart to think about it.  But unwilling to make sacrifices is how we (as in the country) ended up here, five months in.  It would also break my heart for her to get sick, important to remember that as well. 

We are all making sacrifices in this new way of life (well except Isla I suppose).  Virtual Kindergarten requires more of parental involvement than I ever thought would be required of S and I.  If something can be heartbreakingly cute, that would be watching O navigate online school.  I both want to just let her be and "pretend I'm not here", but also constantly remind her to "pay attention" and "sit up straight".  I have never been good at letting things be...

As one day blurs into the next, I have never been so conscientious how big my babies are getting (I have never spend so much time with them either).  Isla is stringing words together, sometimes skipping a verb, sometimes adding an adjustive.  It is so cute we all grin from ear to ear when she speaks.  There is a lot of "what's that noise mommy" and "where daddy is"?  She is refusing to be potty trained, as in no amount of bribery can get her to pee even once on the potty.  Oh well, will cross that bridge another day. 

Olivia is 5 and making some strides in her reading skills.  We love our Piggie and Gerald books the best.  She always takes the part of Piggie and I always take the part of Gerald.  Bedtime is always giggly when we read this series.  

Lately

Nothing much happening over here, and yet our whole lives have changed.  2020 held all the promises of an auspicious year... that number alone, so bold.  Yet here we are, a pandemic.

I found myself walking a tight rope.  BE CAREFUL I say out loud (to everyone, so much so that Isla tells us "careful" all the time now) and think to myself.  I step on eggshells at work (I wore protective booties to work for awhile), wash my hands twenty thousand times a day (not accounting the hand washing before and after hand washing), and don't even take off my mask in the bathroom.  On the other hand... I let my neighbors kid come inside the house yesterday!  Ugh... in my defense, she is only 4.  She is Olivia's only friend in the neighborhood, and she rings our door bell all on her own and sits on the front steps until we open it.  Also in my defense, Olivia has played with NO OTHER KID since March!  I probably shouldn't have let her inside (twice), I probably shouldn't have let her have dinner with us, I probably shouldn't have stood so  close to her mom as we took her home. Olivia and Isla had a ball though... I mean shrieking with laughter.  But is it worth it?  It would be different if our neighbor has been socially isolating, but they haven't, that I know for fact.  It would be different if our State numbers didn't look so apocalyptic, which it does.  It would be also be so so different if there was an end in sight!!!  which there isn't.

This too, shall pass... but when?!

When I was eight years old I was convinced I had some terminal illness.  Sixteen... I thought... just let me live till I'm sixteen.  A number so big that surely by the time I reach it, I should be tired of living...

Then when I was twenty eight years old, alone, on my own, with no romantic prospect for miles in sight, I thought just give me a glimpse of the future, let me see if I end up with a family...

Here I am, thirty eight.  No longer alone, no longer on my own.  I have two babies and a man that does his very best to take care of each and every one of us everyday.

It is charmed life, I would say.