I wish for snow, the kind that will splatter on my new red coat. I wish for the familiar voices of friends who squeal “a new red coat!” I wish I walked outside for more than 5 seconds a day so I can feel the sun (the rain, the wind, the UV rays) on my face. I wish the speeches and pep-talks I give people penetrated my heart as easily as it penetrated my head… I wish it were easier to discern between the two. I wish I knew which tears are reflexive, which are responsive, which are 50/50, which are brave, which are weak, which I can trust, and which should be urgently wiped away.
I wish everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
Blogging is most fun when I don't have time to blog, thus why two weeks have elapsed since my last test and despite the myriad of life-altering events that happened, I am just now updating.
Note to self, don't sprinkle powdered cinnamon into iced latte, it will never melt, but end up between my teeth. Here I am, sitting in class, checking in my little mirror between every sip.
Another giant leap for Tian! You should all be proud. I confronted a past ghost with one sweep of a confession, and while the wound is still there (much to my impatience), I think time will take care of the rest. This is unfamiliar territory for me, leaving the door ajar after saying goodbye. I only hope my inability to completely turn my back on a rather special friendship is a step towards maturity and bravery, instead of sloppy indecisiveness. Besides, as Maria said, should I find myself diverging, it's never too late for plan B.
Maybe someday I can say more, spinning in a retrospective insight. But right now, there is too much hurt too close by. I am proud of myself for one thing -- I would never settle for second-rate affection, from anyone!
Another mirror check.
First episode of Grey's Anatomy Season 3 did not disappoint, can't wait for next Thursday.
Note to self, don't sprinkle powdered cinnamon into iced latte, it will never melt, but end up between my teeth. Here I am, sitting in class, checking in my little mirror between every sip.
Another giant leap for Tian! You should all be proud. I confronted a past ghost with one sweep of a confession, and while the wound is still there (much to my impatience), I think time will take care of the rest. This is unfamiliar territory for me, leaving the door ajar after saying goodbye. I only hope my inability to completely turn my back on a rather special friendship is a step towards maturity and bravery, instead of sloppy indecisiveness. Besides, as Maria said, should I find myself diverging, it's never too late for plan B.
Maybe someday I can say more, spinning in a retrospective insight. But right now, there is too much hurt too close by. I am proud of myself for one thing -- I would never settle for second-rate affection, from anyone!
Another mirror check.
First episode of Grey's Anatomy Season 3 did not disappoint, can't wait for next Thursday.
Monday, September 04, 2006
I had to tell my self stop, out loud, to close the Anthropologie.com website. I wish I could leap onto the page and touch each and every one of those beautiful garments, screaming to be loved. I don't have time to look at clothes I can't afford, and I don't have time to fool myself into thinking I can afford them. I don't even have time to type these sentences. I can't wait for the end of tests. It's like waiting... to exhale. :)
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