Four years ago, I walked out of my first biology test thinking "I'll be okay here"... True to that prediction, Rice didn't eat me... Four years later, I walked out my diffy test (a class I procrastinated for four years), mentally gushing the incredibility of here and now. What changed? I'm one inch taller (sure of it), without bangs (although I miss them all the time), more of a girl (i.e. more obsessive of my weight), no longer spend a hour every morning in front of the mirror (bangs were high-maintenance!), broke my no-studying-on-Friday-night rule (long long ago), unashamedly recognize that I'm not a drinker, partier, dancer, or bar-hopper; rarely wear black, succumed to the pink craze. I'm a bad judgment of people/character but life has been kind enough to shove a few precious people my way. And I still love Oprah... after all these years. :)

Who knows about medical school... and unlike four years ago, this time around, I will do my best to suppress all unfounded expectations, pre-mature excitements, unrealistic goals... in other words, I will try to be less me. :)

I took pictures of my walk from Hanszen to Jones today, pausing every five seconds to snap every scene from every angel, hoping for one good shot somewhere in there. How many times have I made that walk... imagine if I hadn't intervened with the initial college assignment... I couldn't... I can't imagine tweaking that part of fate. It seems that it has taken every bit of four years to become the kind of friends we have become. The laws of attraction and repulsion are fragile. I suppose things could be better, but what if it's not... can't take the risk.

A discussion with my father about the "wrong" turns in life, and whether it's not better to walk the straight path... I think he gets it... I made him assure me, out loud, that if things don't work out, he would support the turns I might have to make.

Rest assured...

I sat in The Chocolate Bar tonight, talking about my future in the most abstract terms... At one point, I brought up When Harry Met Sally to make some nebulous point ... My thoughts tumbled almost as fast as my words, and I confused my concerned my friends almost as much as I confused myself. One focal point we all agreed on -- that it's good to be young...

For future reference --

The nebulous point was that "when we FINALLY found the person we wish to spend the rest of our lives with, we want the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible"... thus, I wish not to delay the pleasure of the next four years because I want to partake on the "joys" that will come after as soon as possible...

I still find it amazing that one LPAP class four years ago, and we are still friends. There are people that I see everyday whose names I don't know... Life, what a mysterious little thing... and me... what a self-absorbent little person...

Linda Lee wishes us all to know that it's not the journey, it's the destination. :)