Today is my mom’s birthday, and she is sick. I think nothing makes me more anxious and short-tempered than knowing that my mom is unwell. I know this is counter-productive, being upset just when she needs me the most… But I can’t help it, I feel that my whole world would collapse if she doesn’t get better instantaneously. It's only a cold, and I know I'm being selfish.

My dad just called… He is buying flowers for my mom. I have the most lovely parents.

Sunday morning. Sitting on a rocking desk chair wrapped around in my wool throw, trying not to stare at the flashing screen saver… Instead, concentrate on sipping the cup of warm water held with both hands, micro-waved to comforting hotness.

It is impossible to spend a minute completely alone, unoccupied, undistracted, unbored... look at me now.

Here is dinner -- Spinach egg drop soup, Shanghai shrimp with pine-nuts, broccoli with oyster sauce, and stir-fried egg-plant. But what you wouldn't have known, and what made this dinner infinitely more special, is that Linda, Maria, and I made it together in Maria's kitchen! We simply didn't get enough of the cooking last Monday night for Lunar New Year, thus we went back for more!

Gym or no gym, that is my most immediate dilemma, as I chug the gross sour coffee from the Hanzsen servery, only because I need the calcium from the carton of milk I emptied into it. Random details of my life --

If one has to take a differential equations class senior year, then there is no better person to take it from than Dr. F. Jones at Rice. He is, quite possibly, the best math teacher I have ever had. Not that my own capabilities in this subject has increased any significantly, but if it's any indication, let's just say that my homework for Monday was done the Friday before!

I am caught between my need to spend money, my lack of money, and my detest to go to work to make money... Half the time I tell myself that when the weather is better, when it's not as cold/rainy/freezing, I will take the thirty minute walk more often. But when will that be?! This is Houston, after all.

I watched 春节联欢晚会 with Maria last night. It’s easy to forget how rare it is to find someone here that shares my unnatural enthusiasm.

I have a truck-load of spinach that will shrink into a handful once I put them in water… should be enough for my soup.

Happy new year! Happy new year to all! I have a cold dumpling in Saran wrap sitting on my desk, left over from a celebration at Maria's, waiting to be devoured at midnight.

According to tradition, one wears new clothes on New Year's day. I have my own something new and red close by. Also according to tradition, one goes around the neighborhood the morning of, wishing all their friends and neighbors prosperity and happiness. The proverbs that go along with this are far too loaded with meaning to be cruelly translated by me, suffice to say that when I was younger, it was a race to see how many I can remember and how fast I can spew them out in one breath. I must have gone around the neighborhood with my grandparents every year growing up, yet somehow, only one particular memory stands out.

I can see the living room, almost the couches... I can recall the voices, but see only my grandfather's smile, and my grandmother's beam, as I said my greeting. I did't want to linger, for I was wearing new clothes that I couldn't wait to show off. This makes standing still quite difficult, thus I shifted my feet in the coal-furnace heated house...

Anyways, a bit of memory to comfort me when I am so far from it all...

Thank you for your kind words.

Should be doing genetics... I am not.
Should be writing a paper... I am not.
Should be working after a weekend of over-spending... I am not.
Instead, I am pouring over this indulgent chronicle of my ordinary life, the trivial details that I so hope would bring nolstalgic warmth into my life ten years from now, when I am older but none-the-wiser.

Today could almost be the most dreary of all Mondays. I woke up in the worst of moods, so tired that I snoozed despite the math test at 8:30 am.
Then I called my dad and lost my temper because I mistakenly thought he had decided to paint our new house white... all white!

Two things saved today for me, cardio kickboxing and the the package I received from mom filled with all things red for Chinese New Year!

Here is my hypothesis to explain this mysteriously melancholy mood -- Little Swallow is in China celebrating the most festive day on earth, and here I am, doing laundry on a rainy Monday night.

"I learn by going where I have to go..."

Troubled thoughts on sleepless nights, they go hand in hand. The blindfold that is the present clouds my vision... Try as I might, I cannot see past the haze. Self-comfort and consolation are not enough... yet reassurance is hard to come by when I spare no truth... spare no truth. I measure out my steps in days and hours, hoping they lead me to where I cannot yet see.