And then... shit happened.

 Two rules of adulthood.  Life isn't fair and shit happens. 

Well, I have had a shitty week, 10 days to be exact.

After a year of careful existence, Olivia gets COVID.  We have kept her home from in-person Kindergarten (one of only three kids in her class to pick virtual learning).  We have limited her playdate to ONE girl (whom we haven't seen since before Christmas).  We drove around town looking for semi-empty playgrounds and parks.  There have been no extracurricular activity of any kind.  Swim, art, dance, all put on hold.  

For O's birthday on 2/11, we planned to stop by her cousin/birthday twin's house to drop off presents.  However last minute they decided to come here instead.  The two previous times they dropped by were on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then only to drop off food/presents, fully masked, and out in a hurry.  In fact, for Christmas, I bursted into tears before they took off.  So many sacrifices in 2020.  We haven't really been around our closest family since the cousin/birthday twin started back to school sometime in September.  So on 2/11, instead of a driveway gift exchange, I texted the birthday twin and her mom to come inside with masks on.  The grandparents were here and they had a birthday cake for their other grandchild.  Everyone was masked, except for Olivia and Isla.  

2/13, O's aunt texts us she has COVID.  We panic.  We send my parents home (they came here for O's birthday, drove 6 hours, only to be sent home less than 24 hours later).  We count our fingers and toes to calculate the risks.  We knew the girls would be at highest risks, since they were unmasked (I actually had a mask for O in hand, but put it down when they took longer to arrive.  This decision I will replay in my mind a hundred times in the next ten days).  The cousin/birthday twin did take off her masks to eat cake and Isla was on her lap at one point!

The mind grapples for hope.  We tell ourselves that the aunt wore a mask pretty much the whole evening.  S and I didn't go very close to her (I might have compromised the six feet distance but I'm vaccinated).  S stayed far away from his family (bless him).  Then another sigh of relief when we found out the cousin/birthday twin tested negative!  I call the pediatrician office and we decide the risks are still low.  I talk to my friends and hear stories of intermingling with infected people without transmission.  I try to put it all behind me and go on with life.  Please please let this be another close call (for there have certainly been other close calls before).  

2/19.  S and I decide to take the girls in to get tested even though they have had no symptoms.  Just to be sure, our pediatrician recommended, given some delayed complications from COVID.  At 3:30 PM, both girls get swabbed.  It was a Friday and we had taco night planned from our favorite Mexican place, Ceviche.  Steve took off in his car to get the food while I drove home with the girls.  The result would take 15 min, I knew.  I expected a call from the office.  When the phone ring, I jumped up, ready to celebrate the good news.  When she said, do you have a minute, my mind fumbles for why I need a minute.   She informs me that Isla has tested negative, but Olivia has tested positive.  I remember thinking - I need to sit down.  My mind spins and I think how is this possible.  I tell my pediatrician that no, she has no symptoms.  Did I gasp?  Cry?  Try to hold it together?  Before I even hang up the phone, I see Olivia laying like a puddle on the floor.  I tell her to stand up and she tells me she is tired.  Shit.  I take her temp and it read 102.  Shit Shit.  I text my pediatrician about the fever (I love her) and she calls me back.  I definitely cried now.  I remember my hands shook as she told me to write down the various supplements I should get, how I needed to alternate Tylenol and Ibuprofen, how I need to separate O from Isla and S.  I remember watching Isla run circles around Olivia and wonder how I will keep them apart for 10 days.  

I called a close friend who gave me a pep talk and ideas on what to do.  She reminds me this is what we have been telling our patients to do for a whole year, surely I can follow my own instructions!  This gets me moving.  I gather up Olivia and put her in the upstairs Jack and Jill, which is her room and her study/school room.  I shut all communal toys that Olivia and Isla have shared into a closet that Isla can't open.  I pack a bag of toiletries and clothes for me to stay with O.  I don't think neither O nor I took a moment to say bye to Isla.  When S got home, he took her behind closed doors until O and I could get settled.  We haven't seen her face in ten days (we also almost haven't seen S in ten days except for one time when Olivia opened the door before S could get downstairs.  We waved to each other.  I cried).  Taco that night was on a tray left outside of our quarantine rooms.  Steve has managed to bring up punctually three meals a day for the following ten days.  Isla called for us outside our door the next morning.  I sobbed while Olivia looked at me wide eyed.  How confusing it must be for her to hear us, but not to see us (as the days progressed she would yell "yei yei are you ok?  mama are you ok?"  We would yell back "we love you Isla").  I kept telling myself to be strong for O, which I have been, to the best of my ability.

Let the records show that O is an above average toddler in terms of lovability.  Being closed within confined space with her for ten straight days confirmed this.  She whined only a little, complained only a little, and amazed me with her adaptability in every way.  

Tomorrow Olivia will fly out of here and be reunited with S and Isla.  I will probably cry more tears.  I doubt I'll ever look back at this time with anything other than terror and relief (that everyone ended up ok).  There are many lesson to be gleaned.  For now, I will continue to keep all my fingers and toes crossed and pray for the end of this pandemic.  In case anyone is wondering, the aunt isn't sure how she got COVID.  The gym, maybe.  I blame no one except myself.  

My Babies

So much is happening in the world, some certain, some uncertain.  The cuteness of Olivia and Isla is my only constant.  

My two winter babies both with approaching birthdays.  One almost SIX, one almost THREE. 

Olivia's first year of Kindergarten is almost coming to an end (yes it's only the beginning of the second semester but I know how time flies now... so may as well ben the end).  It has been virtual this whole year, despite my forever optimism that this Pandemic will be under control, and I will see my baby bouncing into the school grounds once again.  That hope is getting slimmer but not completely gone.  She is THRIVING even at home!  Such a good little reader (favorite books - Piggie and Gerald and The Dragon books) and so very diligent with her numbers.  She is careless though, and its hard to make a five year old check over her work.  Olivia asks about "when will the virus end" and "it wasn't there when I was little, how did it get here"?  Parenting is all about reassuring kids about things we are not even sure about, right?  

Isla has had one leisure year.  For a baby who got sick every two weeks at daycare, this has been the healthiest year of her life (how ironic and also knock on wood).  She loves her Jie Jie and loves her snacks.  We finally got her to stop sucking her thumb (in anticipation of eventually returning to school) and semi trying to potty train her.  Isla loves pretty much all the toys O loves (scooter, barbie dream house, her piggie).  She loves the Llama llama books.  

We drive around looking for empty playground for them to play on and see grandma/grandpa whenever we can.  My parents have stayed for a few week stretches and that has made Olivia's year.  Hoping 2021 brings more play dates!

What do you like about yourself...

In the spirits of this blog post - 

https://cupofjo.com/2021/01/what-do-you-like-about-you/#more-234121

I like that I have a set of rituals that define who I am.  I read and therefore I am a reader.  I am always on time and therefore I am punctual.  I scrapbook and make photobooks and therefore  I am nostalgic.  I am compulsive about cleaningness and therefore I am tidy.  I put on nice clothes to go out and therefore I am put together.  

These things help me not waste time on feelings of guilt.  For example, when I yell at my kids to clean up in the middle of Saturday morning, I tell myself that's just who I am.  When I put on makeup to put gas in car, that's just who I am.  When I fold laundry in the middle of the night AND put them away, that's just who I am.

2021

 2021...

May you not crumble upon the weight of gazillion expectations...

I have been knee deep in reading.  Among them, This is the Story of A Happy Marriage, by Ann Patchett.   I have officially declared her to be my favorite author.  I have not had a favorite author since R. L. Stein in fifth grade.  Back then I wrote a letter to him.  Maybe I'll write a letter to Ann.  Yes, we are on first name bases.  After reading her book of personal essays, I have seen her soul and we are soul sisters.  It is that simple.  

I am listening to Becoming by Michelle Obama.  I am curious how to raise little Michelle Obamas.  I was listening along, semi-engaged, doing dishes and folding laundry.  Then, out of the blue, she says "kids know at a very young age when they are being de-valued, when adults aren't invested enough to help them learn.  Their anger over it can manifest itself as unruliness.  It's hardly their fault.  They aren't bad kids.  They are just trying to survive bad circumstances."  De-valued.  Is that what that feeling was all those decades ago growing up in a cut throat academic environment?  It's hard for anyone to imagine me as unruly, but back then, I was definitely not "good".  Once a teacher told me to my face that I will never amount to nothing.  Till this day, ask my parents, they will tell you through clinched teeth who that teacher was.  Clearly, as I sobbed in the kitchen today, I still carry that burden with me, all these years later.  It is why I stay on top of Olivia's school.  She is five.  It's not because I want her to be top of her Kindergarten class.  I'm trying to spare her the feelings of inadequacy, of devalued.  

2020 Election

Where were you when you heard the big news? 

I was at work, live streaming CNN from my phone app.  I brought a phone charger to work for the occasion.  After four sleepless nights and restless days, I was not going to miss the moment of the announcement.  

It was Saturday, Nov 7th 2020.  I had stayed up past midnight almost every single night since Nov 3rd, in hopes of some good news.  From horror on the first night to muted thrill on Friday night, I was exhausted but most invested I have ever been in an election.  When I looked at my work calendar in the beginning of the year, I was relieved to see I was off work on the 3rd and 4th.  Little did I know, four days later, we still didn't know the final result of the 2020 election.  I downloaded the CNN app and returned to work.  It was mostly on mute, because I work in the reddest part of North Georgia.  

I have never been very invested in politics.  First time I looked up and paid attention to an election was when Obama won in 2008.  I didn't vote.  I was in medical school and tunnel vision was name of the game.  I remember tearing up for progress, and blogged about hope.  Fast forward to 2016.  I was shocked at the election results but told myself it "couldn't possibly be that bad".  After all, the US government is all about checks and balance.  

I was wrong.  The following four years yielded horror after horror.  Just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, the administration showed no regard to humanity, no regard for peace, no regard for common decency.  

I registered to vote sometime in 2017.  And I waited, patiently, for the 2020 election, for the moment when I can join the country and kick (I mean vote) him out of office.  I am slightly ashamed to say my hatred for him runs deep, it is personal. 

When CNN announced for BIDEN-HARRIS at 11:25 AM, I cried.  I saw the new counts for Pennsylvania came up and unmuted my phone.  I sat forward, my heart stopped, and when Wolf Blitzer projected the presidency for BIDEN, I screen captured that moment.  I sat in relief, happiness, tears of joy.  Wolfe said "for tens of millions of Americans, this is the end of a nightmare".  

I pray for safe transfer of power.  I pray for the future of this country.  I pray for the shining beacon of hope to regain its brightness.  For four years, it was shrouded in the dark grey shadow of a narcissistic and unconsciounable leader.  Please, let this be a new beginning. 

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."  - Dr. Martin Luther King

 

 It has been almost four weeks since O interacted with another kid.  It hurts my heart to think about it.  But unwilling to make sacrifices is how we (as in the country) ended up here, five months in.  It would also break my heart for her to get sick, important to remember that as well. 

We are all making sacrifices in this new way of life (well except Isla I suppose).  Virtual Kindergarten requires more of parental involvement than I ever thought would be required of S and I.  If something can be heartbreakingly cute, that would be watching O navigate online school.  I both want to just let her be and "pretend I'm not here", but also constantly remind her to "pay attention" and "sit up straight".  I have never been good at letting things be...

As one day blurs into the next, I have never been so conscientious how big my babies are getting (I have never spend so much time with them either).  Isla is stringing words together, sometimes skipping a verb, sometimes adding an adjustive.  It is so cute we all grin from ear to ear when she speaks.  There is a lot of "what's that noise mommy" and "where daddy is"?  She is refusing to be potty trained, as in no amount of bribery can get her to pee even once on the potty.  Oh well, will cross that bridge another day. 

Olivia is 5 and making some strides in her reading skills.  We love our Piggie and Gerald books the best.  She always takes the part of Piggie and I always take the part of Gerald.  Bedtime is always giggly when we read this series.  

Lately

Nothing much happening over here, and yet our whole lives have changed.  2020 held all the promises of an auspicious year... that number alone, so bold.  Yet here we are, a pandemic.

I found myself walking a tight rope.  BE CAREFUL I say out loud (to everyone, so much so that Isla tells us "careful" all the time now) and think to myself.  I step on eggshells at work (I wore protective booties to work for awhile), wash my hands twenty thousand times a day (not accounting the hand washing before and after hand washing), and don't even take off my mask in the bathroom.  On the other hand... I let my neighbors kid come inside the house yesterday!  Ugh... in my defense, she is only 4.  She is Olivia's only friend in the neighborhood, and she rings our door bell all on her own and sits on the front steps until we open it.  Also in my defense, Olivia has played with NO OTHER KID since March!  I probably shouldn't have let her inside (twice), I probably shouldn't have let her have dinner with us, I probably shouldn't have stood so  close to her mom as we took her home. Olivia and Isla had a ball though... I mean shrieking with laughter.  But is it worth it?  It would be different if our neighbor has been socially isolating, but they haven't, that I know for fact.  It would be different if our State numbers didn't look so apocalyptic, which it does.  It would be also be so so different if there was an end in sight!!!  which there isn't.

This too, shall pass... but when?!

When I was eight years old I was convinced I had some terminal illness.  Sixteen... I thought... just let me live till I'm sixteen.  A number so big that surely by the time I reach it, I should be tired of living...

Then when I was twenty eight years old, alone, on my own, with no romantic prospect for miles in sight, I thought just give me a glimpse of the future, let me see if I end up with a family...

Here I am, thirty eight.  No longer alone, no longer on my own.  I have two babies and a man that does his very best to take care of each and every one of us everyday.

It is charmed life, I would say.

Random...

Playing catch up... that's just life these days.

December 2018

Isla has four teeth, and she uses them to the maximum.  Her little mouth opens in anticipation of any and all food.  So far (in addition to baby food), she does ok with soft bread and a little rice.  Anything else she just holds them in her mouth. 

Isla loves to clap little hands, and "talks" to everyone especially Olivia.  She loves it when we sing to her, and dislikes it when we take toys to of her hand.  Sweet little Isla had her FOURTH cold this year.  May it be the last one (this year at least)...

zoom in on the teeth!!

Isla's first Christmas, first in our new house.  It was everything and all a blur at the same time, as is life.  I had this Christmas off and enjoyed it to a maximum.  Olivia got the PonyCycle, which in typical Olivia style, is more of a hit for us than for her.  Six months in, she is warming up to it... although ever so cautiously.  I love that about her.

January 2019

Still quite attached to her thumb.  Isla is getting ready to wear off of BF.  I had a really hard time making peace with that milestone.  Somewhere around here, I had my second bout of mastitis.  I will always miss nursing Isla.  Her little sounds of joy and contentment.  I'm so grateful I had a second chance at it.  

On Pilates...

I have been doing Pilates since May.  Three months after having Isla, I felt so weak.  There was no core to speak of.  Everything was soft and mushy.  I took Olivia to the playground and attempted to hoister myself up a rather high step while holding her (except... it wasn't that high).  My leg almost gave out.  It was embarrassing.  I have always prided myself on having some sort of exercise routine, but I have let myself go... for the past two years.  It's not anything other people can tell, it's not like I gained a lot of weight.  But I can tell.  I was flabby, weak, out of shape, and out of breath.

Enters Pilates.

It was both hard and gentle, exactly what i needed in my post partum state.  Unlike the more grueling exercises (and I have always been what you would call a cardio junkie), this one felt GOOD for me.  All the pulling and stretching and lengthening have strengthened me, both mentally and physically.  I have stuck to it eight times a month for the past six months, and it hasn't felt like work.  I will eventually go back to some kind of cardio, but for now, this is exactly what I need.

Halloween 2018

My favorite holiday!  No seriously, it is up there with Christmas and my birthday.  :)

I took PTO not only one but two days.  Olivia is Snow White again this year but unlike last year, she got REALLY into it!  Our friends came over and we trick-or-treated all over the neighborhood.  Running from house to house.  My new neighborhood didn't disappoint.  And we couldn't have asked more perfect weather!  Olivia really isn't all that interested in the candy, just the idea of hunting and gathering.

A little crew with Kelvin and Ella

Isla skipped out on trick or treating this year because of a cold, first one this fall. 

Little Apple stayed home. 

One of my podcasts had a parenting expert on.  She pointed out that parents today struggle with uncertainties unlike any before - climate change, politics, social media.  We over compensate by tightening our grips around our little domain.  As a result, we become hyper-critical control freaks.

Sounds about right.

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary.  Six years ago, S and I flew to San Francisco and spend one chilly Monday morning at the City Hall with Alex and Alex of IQ photo (they are witnesses  on our wedding certificate).  To this day, that is one of my favorite days of our relationship, one of my favorite adventures of us.

Life Lately...

When you are so behind in blogging and in life that the only proper title to sum it all up is... lately...  That's where I am.  It has been a hectic stretch of days and weeks, leading right up to my FAVORITE season and FAVORITE month.  Fall!  October!

 

Sweet baby Isla is 8 months old.  She can do nothing wrong.  We are all so in love with her, Olivia especially.  She refers to her as "my baby", and it melts my heart every single time.  Isla is sitting tall, still a tiny bit wobbly, and no where ready to crawl.  So what if both of my babies inherited my athletic genes (or lack thereof)!  There is nothing Isla doesn't love to eat-  homemade, store bought, chunky, smooth... you name it, she will open her little mouth and gobble it all up.  

Shortly after turning 8 month, we discovered one baby tooth.  That one tooth is keeping me on my toes during nursing.  I'm still nursing Isla.  My current (ever-shifting) goal is Christmas.  Hoping to get her further through the winter season.  And maybe, trying to hold on to these sweet baby days a bit longer. 

Finally a good school picture!  At the same time... but wait, is my baby so big??

Our annual family pictures turned out... just ok...  It was soooo hot.  I don't have a single good one of the girls alone because, well, Isla wasn't feeling it.  Shortly after this one was taken Isla fell backwards and Olivia caught her.  We told O good job, to which O replied - she is my baby.  

I am full of mood swings these days.  There are so much joy, so much cuteness, so much passive aggressive nagging, so much appreciation of my husband but just as much dissatisfaction and overall wishing for more.  I suppose this is life.  Katie Couric once said to know when you are in the sweet spot in life - that moment in time when your children are young and your parents are healthy.  That me!  That's where I am.  Face it, this may be as good as it gets.  If so, I am content.  More than that, I am grateful. 

On Destin, sickness, and new resolution

For a few hours yesterday, I contemplated starting a mood stabilizer.  While I have always been short tempered and kind of accepted myself as such, my fuse has been especially easy to designate.  Two days, two trips to the emergency room.  Isla not sleeping well.  My mom not here to help.  It all added up.  I hear myself yelling and see Olivia crying, but still feel numb and resigned.  Low point in motherhood and life in general.

Thus my resolution - stop yelling.  Period.  

24 hours in.  I'm doing pretty well.

First trip to Destin and everyone survived.  Olivia had the time of her life.  So much so I'm already planning my next beach trip for next year!  Little Isla did not enjoy herself one bit.  Only place she was happy was in my arms.

Destin sand.  So soft and fine. 

zoom in on Isla's face.  Little thing shriveled in the sun.

Oh, and Isla turned 6 months old!  She can (kind of) flip from belly to back.  I know it's a bit late but trying my best not to worry.  I mean, look at that face.  She is perfect.

Here is the big girl, all brave in the ER.  It was our first, and I hope last, trip there.  It was just a 24 hour stomach virus, but she had a fever and malingered about stomach hurting.  So... I raced home after work and took her to get checked out.  Half a Zofran and popsicle later, good as new.  Sigh...

OMD is going through a sea world phase.  It is all about seals and dolphins and mermaids everyday.  She also misses my mom terribly.  Yesterday she asked grandma for money to go visit Nai Nai.  My mom was moved to tears. 

O has a best friend in school.  Her name is Eve.  I am far too excited about her BFF, already planning play dates and dreading the day they will go separate ways.  Calm down Tian.  She is 3. 

Better late than never...

Life is moving along at hyper speed these days.  I find myself looking into the end of summer and realizing these days of having my mom around doing everything  and taking care of everybody is almost over.  Also Isla starting school, I can barely complete that thought...

This book has taken me a shamefully long time to read.  It is so good that everytime I pick it up, I don't want to put it down!!  There is a pile of books to move on to, yet I am reading at the pace of a snail.

Also, I got my first library card since high school.  I took OMD last week and she checked out two books.  I hope to spend many many more hours there reading to my girls.  This first trip, however, she was more interested in the Legos.

I have been baking/cooking a lot.  I made the Bee Sting Cake by Smitten Kitchen twice in one test run (and really want to make it again) and Dorie Greenspan's Lemon Spice Visiting Cake (which is very forgiving and can be changed up many ways).  The texture of both cakes are to die for.  I find myself buying piles of banana and trying out all kids of recipes.  Next up, this!

ALSO... little Isla turned five months on 7/5.




Isla started trying foods a couple weeks after turning four months old.  She is loving everything we put in her mouth, and eagerly gobbles it all up!  There followed are some constipated days, but a regimen of peach, prunes, and spinach seems to get things moving along.

Still sleeping through the night (mostly), still smiling at everyone, still chubby little rolls everywhere, and still making noises that are somewhere between a baby and a bird.



These moments are not spontaneous... O isn't too interested in cuddling up to Isla just yet.  But the love you see here, a hundred percent real.

A haircut for the summer!  When she walks into a room S and I do a double take.  Who is this little beauty?!  Where did my baby go...

Ice cream cone only please.  May she always know exactly what she wants and boldly asks for it.  

A weekend on the lake of Co Vien, uncle David, and Natalie... all by herself!  

Isla at (almost) 3 months and Olivia at 3.

I went back to work on April 13th, Isla was about 10 weeks old.  It was a very smooth change for all, and I give all credit to my mom.  In truth, I can't imagine doing any of these without her.  Good thing Mother's Day is coming up.  I already got her an obligatory grandparent photo present (shutterfly coffee mug with the kids' pictures) but also plan to get some of these, she loves them!

I have heard of babies so quiet that you forget they are in the room.  I just didn't believe them until now.  Maybe because Olivia is so loud??  Isla is a sweet sweet baby.  At almost 3 months old (another week), she smiles on command and coo coos to us when we talk to her.  Nai nai and mom melt on the spot.  She is also a good sleeper (at least by my standard).  She only wakes up once to eat in the middle of the night (somewhere between 2 and 4AM).  She loves her little swing she inherited from uncle Hyler.

Finally, she seems to be over her first baby cold.  It was the saddest little thing to see snot dripping out of that tiny little nose.  Thank goodness for nose frida, that's all I have to say.

Olivia is finally potty trained!!  This three-ager phase is no joke, but here we are, knee deep.  She doesn't seem like a baby anymore, but a little girl with big ideas and big opinions.  Her favorite thing to says is "mommy i don't want to".  

Next month, she will be taking her first flight and going on her first trip without me!!  What was I thinking??!  I know she is in good hands with grandma and Natalie, but still...  who will force her to eat her prunes and floss her teeth?  We will see how potty trained she really is...

Finally reading this book.  So far, it is heart-wrenchingly beautiful...

transitions...

This year has been filled with changes for O.  First, she became a big sister.  Then, new house.  Last but most nerve wrecking of all, she started at a new school.  To say I was nervous is a gross understatement.  Olivia has been at the same school since she was 5 months old.  We know every teacher from the baby class to the toddler class, and everyone knows her.  I waited and waited before finally giving the 30 day notice.  I cried.  Just last night I received a letter from the old school asking how Olivia is doing.  Changes are hard. 

First day at new school.  Olivia is doing surprisingly well.  She hasn't made any new friends yet.  The teacher tells me she is quite comfortable playing by herself, but will speak to others when needed.  haha, not sure how to take that.  She has been this chipper most days I drop her off.  Still though... I hope my baby makes friends soon. 

Isla ONE month

Isla turned one month old this week.  S's mom came over to do the traditional one month blessing.  Seems like yesterday she did it for Olivia.  As baby number two, I'm acutely aware of all the things we don't do for Isla.  We don't even swaddle her!  I'm so glad grandma took the time for this ritual, a little ceremony all for my baby.

Things I give up while breast feeding -
1. most of my tops could not accommodate these new and enlarged boobs.  I have about three on constant rotation.
2.  going anywhere for more than 3 hours at a time.
3. sleeping for more than 3 hours at a time.
4.  dairy and caffeine!

Things Isla does at one month -
1. hold her little head up and turn it side to side, making the cutest grunting noises the whole time.
2. hit my face and grab my shirt if I don't feed her on time.
3. eat every four hours or so, give or take.
4. smiles for just a couple seconds, enough to melt hearts.
5. spits up, a lot.  Hoping giving up dairy would help.

beautiful ceremony grandma prepared on the Monday Isla turned one month old.  

Olivia is giving me a run for my money these days.  It doesn't help that I'm sleep deprived (and hormonal?).  Someone has to be the bad cop, and I take on that role gladly.  Honestly I have always been the bad cop.  This morning was 37 degrees and she refused to put on her coat, telling me that her coat isn't pretty and she needs a new one.  Seriously?!  I created a little monster. 

thank goodness for nai nai, who dots on Olivia unconditionally.  Here nai nai made a little bunny bun ball, which O. devoured.  

Ice cream date on a sunny day. 

baking with mommy, right before I had to give up dairy.  

Isla Do

A little bundle of joy slipped quietly into our lives on 2/5/2018 at 11:30AM.

Isla Xuan Do.  6lb 2.8 ounces, 18.5 inches long.

We are still amazed how much she looks like her bigger sister, especially when she is sleeping (here is Olivia, one day old). 

Isla loves to eat, sleep, poop, in no particular order and sometimes all at the same time.  She was born with long/sharp fingernails that I finally clipped and has an outie belly button which no one else in the family does.  She is so quiet that sometimes we forget she is in the room.  Mostly she is perfect and we devour her sweet newborn smell as much as we can.  S told me the other day to enjoy it because it's the last time we will have a newborn.  So true...

It took awhile for O to warm up to Isla.  In the beginning she seemed happy there is a baby in the room, but really wants nothing to do with her.  Gradually, she begins to show affection.  She likes to tickle the baby and say "hi little cutie".  She also points to my belly and asks me "is there any more babies in there?"  

Mostly, O is unaffected by her little sister, except at night when she wants to sleep with me.  Thank goodness for Nai Nai.  How people manage without extra help, I do not know.  

O giving kisses to her little sister.  

37 weeks...

Things looming ahead of me in the beginning of 2018 -
1. Give birth
2. Close on house
3. Get washer/dryer/fridge/curtains and settle into this said house
4. Move O into new school and hope she doesn't become traumatized by all the changes in such a short period of time.

Isla, our new upcoming baby, is doing considerably well considering all the stresses in my life and work.  I hope she is as chilled in life as she is in utero.

Olivia, my existing toddler, is giving me a taste of the feisty three.  Some days I do well not to spank her and leave her on the side of the street.

Me: Olivia, who do you love more, mommy or daddy.
O: Daddy.
Me: Olivia, who do you love more, mommy or nai nai.
O: Nai Nai.

No I didn't cry.  I know she loves me.  And perhaps I shouldn't even be asking these questions but she is so cute in answering them with her unhesitating honesty.