A nifty little place, noodles, inside the Bellagio. 

After spending half a day inside the maze that is the Forums shop, I emerged on this side only to realize there are so much more yet to be conquered. 

If I had...

If I had extra three hundred bucks, guess where I would spend it. No, not inside here store, but definitely on her show. That's right, I'm not ashamed... I'm a fan. :) Since I'm only a poor student, I settled for a deck of cards as a momento that I was inside her store. :) 

 

Finding my lucky spot inside Paris... 

Un-real

 

Apples

Count on me to find over-prized apples anywhere! 

Tao

Crazy Vegas, water lily filled bath tubs outside of a club/restaurant. 

Christmas Tree in the Bellagio

There are certain advantages to visiting tourist destinations during the holidays, for the Bellagio fountain sounds extra cheerful when it is dancing to Christmas music. This Christmas tree hovers over a huge pool filled with floating cranberries, polar bears, and other absurdly elaborate concoctions. I'm so envious of little kids today... I felt like dancing in circles even in my old age!

 

Paris Paria

 

Wreath over NY

 

 

The Venetian

Why is this photo blue? Looking out from the Venetian balcony with its gondola rides. Ceasars in the distance and Mirage across the street. 

Stratosphere

According to my one-street map of Vegas, the stratosphere marks the end of the strip. My first tour of the city took me far past the lights and glitz of Las Vegas Blvd, through deserted streets and beaten down strip bars, thus try as I might, the luxiously lit streets and hotels could never completely blind me. It was one giant disco ball that I saw right through.

Oh the guilt, knowing my friends still click on that hopeless "tian's blog" link. But girls, nothing interesting is happening in my life, at all! I know people have always said that the life of a medical student consisted of eating, sleeping, and studying ... but they didn't mention how little of the first two and how much of the latter... Let me tell you!

Surprisingly, now that Christmas vacation is here, I find that I have no problem relapsing into the job-less, work-less, study-less lazy days. The only vestige of med school was when I woke up this morning, wondering what happened to the sun, confirming that the so-called biological clock is no myth.

I set off to Las Vegas tomorrow! My parents and I are going to celebrate Christmas Vegas style. I used all my travel channel, food channel, and google resources to come up with places to eat and things to see. I am going to take a million pictures!

Today is the day --
I found the PERFECT boots! yes... it finally happened!
My mom foudn the perfect purse!
I found the perfect skirt!
Galleria got Anthropologie! Thus the perfect purse and perfect skirt.

Oh... see how trivial? At least I'm blogging, right? :)

The rain outside is subsiding, and I am one hour and thirty minutes behind schedule. Daisy is licking herself and mewing at the door... I looked, there are no boy cats outside. Life is warm and dry, two very important things on this cold, dark night.

When I was school-less for three weeks and my friend was busy taking tests, I found myself envious -- to have a school to go to, to have tests to stress over, to have a pressing goal giving pressure and urgency to every hour of every day! Ahhhh... what privilege!

Now that my own block tests are coming up, it's time to remind myself of that feeling once again.

Seven hours in CC's?! It's time to leave! Dinner reunion with my New Orleans hall buddies, with whom I ate dinner together almost every single night, in our stove-less floor kitchen, for three weeks. Ahhh... forgot my camera!

With the curtains Michelle's mom made, I now have "not just a space, but a room!"

A man in CC’s said – not enough hours in the day to get it all done. I think he was talking about chopping down trees in Canada, but how nicely it fits with my forever catch-up game in med school. I try not to play favorites between my subjects, no more let’s ignore this because it’s not important (or I’ll never use it). It’s all important; I will use it all (someday).

No cruise boat living for me. Now that I typed this “out loud”, it is instinctively followed by a mental “thank God!”… I didn’t even realize I felt so strongly about staying on land. I think it is about settling down, putting away the suitcase once and for all. Enough unknowns and anticipations for the year. With school underway, I just can’t spend all day worrying whether there is enough room to turn around in my cabin, who will be my roommate(s), will the boat entryway be wide enough for everyone to swarm through in case of emergency.

My friend, whose place I am sharing now, and the exact timing during which she offered it to me, is a perfect example of how sometimes in life, people get more than they deserve. Don’t let my picture belie the image of a make-do room; it was a home I intruded into, and I can only hope to make myself apart of it in the weeks/months to come. My roommates won’t have their spacious dining room back for awhile, and when they come home at night, because I am studying or sleeping steps away, they no longer turn on the TV… These little things in their lives that I disrupted. Perhaps one day, I can repay this favor.

I just downloaded a couple of really good songs, and thought of my friend. So I logged on AIM to see if she is there, whether I can IM the songs to her. She isn’t. Then I thought about writing her an email, but a better idea yet to immortalize how much I miss her by putting it in my blog. I miss her a lot, not all the time, but sometimes, especially when a heartbreaking Chinese song comes on. What is wrong with living in the past anyways, everything is so bittersweet... tangy in its lingering aftertaste.

Years from now, when people mention the catastrophic aftermath of Katrina and Rita, I will remember exactly where I was and what I was thinking. This is my time. Mistakenly, I try to examine these events in context of me -- why did this happen to me, what does it mean for me, what is fate trying to tell me. How horridly selfish -- people were not made to suffer for my personal revelations.

More cruise details! The thing with being on a cruise boat for a couple of months (debating on when NO recovers, which by the looks of Rita, is looking bleak) is that I'm afraid I'll NEVER want to set foot on a cruise again! So no Alaska cruise with parents or reunion cruise with my mafia (plus XY!). The boat can house up to a thousand and according to the latest update, they will be able to provide breakfast and dinner for the students. These will not be four course meals plus sushi snack, but it will be food... which I can even forgo if they just give me medical school back! I will take pictures (of course!).

Because of Rita, I will be in Shreveport until Sunday-ish. School starts on Tuesday (on schedule) in Baton Rouge and unless Rita goes crazy, I will be there!

I WILL be a medical student once more!

http://www.silja.fi/BULLETINS/?tiedote_id=107

Can you believe it? Looks like I'm going to be back on a ship much earlier than planned... and under a completely different context!

How about a reunion? :)

exclamation! A blazer of soft plaid, fine wool; pleated sleeves, boldly gathered, unabashedly feminine. A look at the price and the rest of my exclamation comes out in a sigh, a bit too loud. After that, it's hard to be interested in a blue top that my mom liked. My heart wasn't in it.

24 hour recovery, back I go. This time, a perfect outfit (on sale!) in Black and White. The store always reminds me of Maria. Was it freshman or sophomore year that I went with her for the first time? I tried on a black dress with some complicated layering going on, the "feminized" salesman told me I'm between sizes. We went to A Thousand Villages afterwards and I ate an animal cracker. Sooo long ago.

Partial confirmation of housing in Baton Rouge. I only have one hope - my own bedroom! No kitchen, fine! No living room, fine! No bathroom, NOT fine! Okay, two hopes.

I realize how odd this is, my blog about shopping and clothes! Not to be cliche, but I would much much rather be in school, deep in brachial plexus or wherever we have progressed to. I have more faith, though. With each passing day, I think, it will be okay.

Dinner altercation. I don't take criticism well, at all. When my dad criticized first the lack of salt/flavor in my soup, then that I gave him too much rice, I actually teared up! I blame him, of course. He could have said it better, used less accent on all the hurtful words... but still, the event did not warrant tears.

Still unsure about housing in BR. BUT, it seems my Thanksgiving break will be as previously scheduled. My Christmas break will be cut short. That is okay with me.

by the lake

through the wookds

Looks like a Chinese water painting

Picture of the day -- morning walk by the Creve Coeur Park. It's six miles long trail of walkers, joggers, baby strollers, roller bladders, bikers, and just really fit people... The trail centers around a beautiful lake. Is St. Louis the Biking City? It should be. The tricky part is, when you get really tired by the 3rd mile, what's the point of turning back?

A super fabulous dinner by mom. Sitting by the dinner table, I felt like I'm in a restaurant and ordered way too much food. Perhaps I should just take this unexpected family time and be thankful. So what if this is September?

Update on Baton Rouge. Housing is still iffy. They keep promising us housing, but never specific as to its actual form. The last time I heard, it could possibly be... a cruise ship??? I suppose we could all sail be back to NO when the time comes. Seriously though, hats off (way off) to the people in BR, who are working around the clock to make things happen. So far, school still starts on the 26th, I'm still flying away from St. Louis on the 21st, and Michelle is still generous enough to let me stay in her apartment for the semester. I wish I could get through the phone line to my friends in BR...

My parents and I bought home eight honeydews today from Sam's Club. Eight. What started off as a "fruit-phase" elaborated into a life style. I would like to think I affected my parents too, now they can't finish off the week without a truck full of fruits. It's step one of my "my-parents-will-live-forever" plan...

Here is a picture of the six honeydews from last week. ALL gone now... :)

Once a decision is made, life operates on auto-pilot once more. Fights with mom, more fights with mom... actually that's just now.

Transporter 2 -- how is that a B+ movie? How do you inject antidote inside a person then use it to cure other people? Who are the writers?! Sorry for ruining the ending for you...

If I had one year to work anywhere, I would move to Chicago and work for my hero! I would do anything she wanted me to, but end the year with a T-shirt that said -- I worked for *****.

My parents are moving into their new house in two weeks... oh the stress.

I'm moving to BR in two weeks... oh the stress.

I returned a million phone calls yesterday... okay, more like 5... But the point is that I'm horrible with returning phone calls, but I did, because I appreciate all my friends so very much. I appreciate their messages, their emails, their blog comments, their never giving up on me even though I'm perpetually going temporarily MIA for no reason at all. I'm getting back into the groove of things today -- namely, studying. I have anatomy spread all over my dining room table, and somehow, that gives me a sense of normalcy and control amidst ALL these insanity. I love you, friends! I miss you, New Orleans.

I hope your life never changes as unexpectly and fast as mine did. Last Saturday morning, I packed my fresh laundry (still warm) into my suitcase to leave New Orleans, thinking my ciy would escape Katrina unscathed like all the years before. My suite-mate of three weeks advised me to take the big suitcase, and so I left New Orleans... with the fridge full of yogurt, my first carton of Lite orange juice still unopenned, Sashi's lamb leftover from the night before. I didn't close the door to my closet, I left Linda's pink coat hanging on the door, the fallen lanterns a pile by my bed...

I-10

I-10

View out of my 9th floor window

City Hall

Sheraton's on Canal

Street Scene

Canal Street

Going to Canal

Cafe Du Mont

French Quarter 2

French Quarter

Street Car

New Orleans

My thoughts are with the super tall man from Camellia's, who bent over the small restaurant counter to serve hamburgers and refill drinks. They are with Dr. McCluggage, did he save all his golf shoes and bow ties? They also skim but dare not pause on the "good folks" in the Superdome... Every time I ask what I did to deserve not having a medical school in NO, a firm voice says -- What about them?

It is uncertain and my thoughts are scattered. I have a million imaginary options but only one plan of action -- read and wait.

As a recent Food Network aficionado, I felt shamefully guilty upon reading MSN.com article about blog-trashing Rachel Ray. What was my own reason for disliking her in the first place? She is young, successful, cute, and perky. Sometimes her youth undermines experience, success implies snootiness, and that trademark perkiness seems all too fake. But who gave me the right to judge who is genuine anyways? How could I, who worries constantly that bubbliness may be mistaken for insincerity, so heartlessly accuse a fellow "bubbler" of being fake. Maybe it's just jealousy over her too-good-to-be-true "$40 A Day" gig that makes me think: I can do it too! I can't -- I get nervous making rice.

I have nailed down the date to arrive at New Orleans -- Aug. 1st, and called ahead to confirm. Only two weeks left in this new city that feels more like a vacation home than a permanent residence. I think the next time I come back will be Christmas. By then, my house will be done and bye-bye to this cozy little apt. I will miss it. Too many transition abodes in my life. Yet, it's still too soon in my life to settle down.

It's good to be young... or is it?

I have been trying to gather my friends like a fistful of yarn, loose ends everywhere. I read their blogs and swallow the selfish fear that their new presents leave no room for remembrances. I suppose, as Julia Roberts said in My Bestfriend's Wedding... with all the partings and gatherings, gatherings and more partings, "the world is just as it should be ".

Moving, leaving people behind, staring at the telephone, rethinking... Finally deciding on the most ineffective form of communication -- a monologue.

Save the apology
There is nowhere to go from there.
Take my abruptness instead
And hold no grudge.
I have fingered this hesitation
Everyday
Every other day.
I bought stationary with golden lining
For the unwritten letters
Spontaneous outbursts
All with your name in the front
On the top
My own overflowing.
What was it about me?
The trickery of my words
Deflecting truths.

I have decided to save all my driving practice for New Orleans. By then, I will have enough road sage saved up to make up for whatever skills or experiences I may lack, and hopefully enough to counter the city traffic. I hope to be scary in my big car. :)

A month ago, I learned something so earth-shattering it mentally shoved me into a state of limbo. Turns out certain things (or people) refuse to be buried. Turns out, it was never a ghost. Turn out, it was never past-tense. Turn out, I get a second chance... A second chance to examine some bandaged wounds, not yet scars, but no longer dripping with ignorance and stubbornness.

I anticipate no ownership or acquisition, only knowledge. And the truth shall set me free. =)

I have a people-I-cherish list. So dear are its occupants that they are unrankable by either importance or affection. Last Tuesday night I went to Books-A-Million to see Mrs. H, where she is in a knitting group with a bunch of girls/ladies/mothers/grandmothers. She brought me plastic knitting needles with blue yarn, and I began to knock out a scarf.

Sitting along side those women, I felt myself in the middle of an Amy Tan novel. They weren't Chinese, and I wasn't separated by some generational/cultural gap, but their quick hands and quicker conversation so strangely focused my perspective. How lucky they are to have a grandchild who needs a pink scarf and a pink hat, to have an unborn baby demanding a prayer blanket, to have a friend sitting close by so when the scarf/hat/blanket start to look unlike a scarf/hat/blanket, they can just lean over and ask for help.

Mrs. H went with her daughters, and I wondered at my own haste to leave home. What was my hurry anyway? Independence in the sense of emotional and physical distance is over-rated. Really, it is.

I'm leaving Shreveport forever... my home for the past 11 years. It is my personal belief that once a home, always a home.

Four years ago, I walked out of my first biology test thinking "I'll be okay here"... True to that prediction, Rice didn't eat me... Four years later, I walked out my diffy test (a class I procrastinated for four years), mentally gushing the incredibility of here and now. What changed? I'm one inch taller (sure of it), without bangs (although I miss them all the time), more of a girl (i.e. more obsessive of my weight), no longer spend a hour every morning in front of the mirror (bangs were high-maintenance!), broke my no-studying-on-Friday-night rule (long long ago), unashamedly recognize that I'm not a drinker, partier, dancer, or bar-hopper; rarely wear black, succumed to the pink craze. I'm a bad judgment of people/character but life has been kind enough to shove a few precious people my way. And I still love Oprah... after all these years. :)

Who knows about medical school... and unlike four years ago, this time around, I will do my best to suppress all unfounded expectations, pre-mature excitements, unrealistic goals... in other words, I will try to be less me. :)

I took pictures of my walk from Hanszen to Jones today, pausing every five seconds to snap every scene from every angel, hoping for one good shot somewhere in there. How many times have I made that walk... imagine if I hadn't intervened with the initial college assignment... I couldn't... I can't imagine tweaking that part of fate. It seems that it has taken every bit of four years to become the kind of friends we have become. The laws of attraction and repulsion are fragile. I suppose things could be better, but what if it's not... can't take the risk.

A discussion with my father about the "wrong" turns in life, and whether it's not better to walk the straight path... I think he gets it... I made him assure me, out loud, that if things don't work out, he would support the turns I might have to make.

Rest assured...

I sat in The Chocolate Bar tonight, talking about my future in the most abstract terms... At one point, I brought up When Harry Met Sally to make some nebulous point ... My thoughts tumbled almost as fast as my words, and I confused my concerned my friends almost as much as I confused myself. One focal point we all agreed on -- that it's good to be young...

For future reference --

The nebulous point was that "when we FINALLY found the person we wish to spend the rest of our lives with, we want the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible"... thus, I wish not to delay the pleasure of the next four years because I want to partake on the "joys" that will come after as soon as possible...

I still find it amazing that one LPAP class four years ago, and we are still friends. There are people that I see everyday whose names I don't know... Life, what a mysterious little thing... and me... what a self-absorbent little person...

Linda Lee wishes us all to know that it's not the journey, it's the destination. :)